Pictures from the week and a funny moment

I just had a few pictures I felt like posting and thought I'd share a funny Alex moment from today.

During church today, one of my contacts really started to bug my eye. I rubbed and rubbed, did everything I could to get it feeling better. It didn't feel better, so I just took it out. I went through the rest of church with one contact in and the other out. Not very enjoyable. When we got home I took the other contact out and decided to give my eyes a little rest. Some of you may know this, but I am not good with contacts. I will wear a pair for several months (sometimes without taking them out). Yes, I know it's not good for me, and I've received several lectures about it. I'm sure I'll get a few more now. Because I wear my contacts so often, I almost never wear glasses. Anyway, I took out my glasses and dusted them off. Soon after, I picked Darek up because he was getting upset. Alex looked over at me with a very concerned look (after seeing the glasses). He then told me, "Mom, maybe you should take those glasses off. I think you're scaring Darek." Leave it up to a 5 year old to tell you the truth about how you look. A few hours later and I still have the glasses on, but I have had several reminders from Alex that I really should put my contacts back in.

....At least he's honest!

Here are a few more pictures I wanted to post.

Celebrated Too Soon

Just called the NICU and it looks like Ian is back on the vent. He was having some trouble with his CO2 levels and just couldn't handle it yet. Hopefully it won't be too long before he's off again. Hard news to hear, but at least he had a few days off of it.

Can't Wait!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

It's quite ridiculous that this is something so exciting in my life that I feel I need to blog about it.... but it totally is! I cannot wait for tonight! A new season of The Office! I love this show sooo much. The awkward moments with Michael, the Jim and Pam relationship, everything about Dwight! It just makes for the best show! Below is a link of one of my favorite clips from the show.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=y5jcWt0vH-M

Just a few more hours!!!

NO MORE VENT!

I just called the NICU and they informed me that Ian is off the ventilator. This is great news!!! We just have to see now how he does being off of it. He had a few more episodes where he has dropped his stats, so they're going to see if that is getting any better. But at least he is off that darn thing. I'll keep ya all posted if I find out anything else!

8th Anniversary

Today, Ryan and I "celebrated" our 8th anniversary. By celebrated, I mean we saw each other for a total of an hour today and got to say Happy Anniversary to each other :( We will hopefully get to do something this coming weekend since Ryan does not have work or school. But I pulled our wedding album out today and was reminiscing about the past eight years. It has gone by so fast. We've had many heartaches, but so many more amazing blessings! The three main ones being Alex, Darek and Ian. Never on this day eight years ago would I have imagined our life happening the way it has. But I can honestly say, I wouldn't change any part of it. I hate that we have gone through infertility, but if we hadn't, we wouldn't have our beautiful little boys now. I am excited (and a little weary) of what will lay ahead for us. But I am so grateful to know that Ryan will be by my side through the whole thing!

I tried scanning of a few of our wedding pictures, but for some reason it didn't work. So instead I took pictures of the pictures. (Ah, how did we ever manage without digital cameras??) They aren't the best quality, but it works.

It's amazing looking at us, knowing how young we were. (Ryan just turning 22, and me being a week before I turned 19.) But we have made it through just fine so far!

I love the way we are looking at each other in these pictures. You can just see the love. And in these past eight years, that love has grown so much stronger!

Such Awesome Nurses!!

I had the social worker from the hospital Ian is staying call me today to let me know that one of the nurses took some pictures of Ian and wanted to email them to me. I am so happy to see any pictures of our little boy. So if anyone at the hospital is reading this, THANK YOU! You don't know what this means to us!

Here are the pictures that were sent to me...

I was so happy to see that they have his giraffe in bed with him. I got a giraffe for each of the boys while I was back in Virginia. Darek has his in bed with him, so it was wonderful to see Ian's.

Video of Darek crying

I felt like a terrible mother while taking this video. But everyone I talk to doesn't believe that he can cry loudly because he is so little. Not the case. He only cries when he is hungry or when he has a tummy ache. I also happened to catch him sneezing while I took this video. His whole body shakes when he sneezes. Isn't everything so much cuter when a baby does it?!?

More pictures of Darek

There are just so many cute pictures, I have to post more. I have decided though, that we really need a new camera. I've wanted one for a long time, but cannot bring myself to get one. Maybe soon... when we have money. ha ha ha ha!!!

He has such stunning eyes (when he is actually awake and you can see them).

He's still at the stage where he can't control his body, so I get a lot of blurry pictures because of it

I just like this one.

This was taken today. He had JUST woken up and wanted to eat right then. He is not a patient boy when it comes to getting fed. I will be posting a video in the next minute or two so people can actually hear him cry. He has some lungs on him for being such a tiny little guy.

Alex Is Way Too Smart

I had a learning moment as a mother the other day. We went to McDonald's for lunch. Alex was extremely excited because they had new Batman toys for the happy meals. So we went and ate and he got his awesome toy. Well, a few hours later, after playing with the toy A LOT, it stopped working correctly. Alex was heartbroken. He asked if we could go get a replacement for it. I told him maybe if we were out later that night, we could stop by and ask them. Well, we were out later that night, but forgot to bring the broken one with us. I decided to go ahead and try anyway. We went to the counter and I explained that we had gotten a toy earlier that day. I told them it broke and we had thrown it away. (We had not yet thrown it away, but planned to once we got the replacement.) They had no problem giving us a replacement. But as we were leaving, Alex said, "Mom, why did you lie to them?" Taken aback, I asked him what he meant. He said, "Well, you told them that we threw the toy away, and we didn't. Why would you tell them that?" WOW! I said a lot of "um's" and "well, uh", but told him he was right, that it was an actual lie I had told. I tried explaining to him, but told him I was really happy that he could recognize that it was wrong.

I forget that I really have to watch what I do and say now. Alex is so smart and such a good boy. He is so good to me when I'm having a really bad day or am upset. Just tonight, he made sure we sat down and had a little talk about our feelings. It's so sweet that he is always so concerned about the well-being of every member of our family. Sweet boy!

So Grateful

I just got off the phone with the NICU in Virginia. Even though this may not seem huge, it's huge to me. The nurse was telling me that Ian is only DAYS away from getting off the ventilator!! He is doing so well with the changes they've made that it really looks like it will be very soon! It is such a relief to me! The only thing after that will be getting him to eat. That can take a matter of weeks, or a few months. It all depends on how well Ian takes to it. And there is absolutely no way for anyone to know how well he'll do since he has never tried to eat on his own before. So once he is off the vent and they start the feeds, they'll have a better idea of a discharge date. And it's at that point that we will try to determine if it's better for him to be transferred here or just remain there and have me come get him. I'm just so happy!

On a side note, I want to express to my amazing husband, Ryan, how much I love him and how much he means to me. He has taken on so much in the past couple weeks with work and school and has not once complained to me about it. He loves his boys so much! And I know how much he loves me as well. I don't know what I did to deserve such an amazing man. One that I can talk to, cry with, and play with. He is my perfect match and my best friend. I love you so much Ryan!

New Stroller

I went to Babies R Us and got my twin stroller today! As soon as I knew we were getting twins, I started my search for the perfect stroller for us. As I researched, this one stood out from the others. Here are a few pictures of it:



I love that I can adjust the seats to whatever I need them to be. As the boys get older I can have them face each other so they can entertain themselves. If they're bugging each other too much I can have them face me. For now, I'll have the car seat adaptors, so I can keep them in their car seats. The only con right now for me is that it is a very heavy stroller. Most twin strollers are anyway. I figure that will probably be better since I have a heavy 5 year old that will want to ride in it. After I put it together today, Alex was ready to go for a ride. But we'll probably save that for tomorrow.

Updated info on Ian

Sorry I'm not blogging as much as I should. I know people are wanting updates about these sweet little boys. I found out a little more info on Ian today. For the most part, things are still going well. He still has his good and bad days, but most of the time they are pretty good. The big goal right now is still to get him off that vent! I asked the nurse today what those steps are and the time frame. She said that next week they are going to try putting him on a type of C Pap machine to see how he takes it. If it goes well, then they might be able to extubate him and put him on the C Pap permanently. This still may take a few weeks to happen, but it's nice to have a better idea. A few days ago I had spoken with another nurse about the possibility of having Ian transferred to Primary Children's Hospital here. She said that it would definitely be a possibility once he was off the vent. (Of course, whether insurance will cover it is a whole other issue.) Anyway, as far as his stats go, he is up to 4 lbs 8 oz now. So he is growing quickly! And Darek went in to an appointment and he weighs 5 lbs 2 oz now. So they are getting healthier by the minute.

On a side note, my brother was able to visit Ian in the hospital this past weekend and took some wonderful video and pictures of him. So instead of re posting them all here, you can see everything on his website http://www.aarontitus.net/ian

So that's all for now. I'll try to keep you all posted.

Birthday Presents

Ryan decided to get The Office, season 4 with some of his birthday money! Woo Hoo! We love The Office! While we were out shopping, we came across a DVD/CD of New Kids on the Block greatest hits. So that has become an early birthday present for me!! Ha ha! I can't wait to watch it. I know I'm gonna laugh all the way through those videos! Anyone want to come over and laugh with me??

Some Pictures of Darek

I've taken a few cute pictures of Darek over the past week and just wanted to share. Hopefully my brother will be able to get some pictures of Ian while he's there and send them to me. It kills me that I don't have any updated pictures of him.




This last one is pretty sweet. Alex was so excited to share his blanket with Darek. Cute boys!

Happy Birthday Ryan!!

Today was Ryan's 30th birthday!! The big 3-0! We got to celebrate a little over the weekend during the few hours he wasn't working or going to school. But I just wanted to let him know what a treasure he is to our family. He is such a great husband and amazing father! I am so lucky to have found him and had him in my life these past 8 years! He has not been home very much today, and the time he was, he had to catch up on sleep. So, Happy Birthday Ryan! I'm sorry we didn't get to celebrate this significant birthday more, but I hope you know how much I love you and how much your boys love you!

A Few Cute Pictures From The Weekend

I took a few pictures from this weekend while my sister Bethany and her husband Chad were up here from St. George. They both fell madly in love with little Darek here and have sworn they will come up again as soon as Ian comes home. The other pictures I had to post are of Alex holding Darek for the first time (well maybe the second time). He has become such a natural big brother. He helps hold, feed, change diapers, and anything else that is asked of him. He is very sweet with Darek, but gets a little frustrated at times that he can't really "play" with him yet. But he'll still sit and stare and just talk to him. It really is the sweetest thing to watch.

A couple updates on Ian. He has a had some good and bad days. First, the good. He has been able to keep his body temperature up, so they moved him out of the incubator and into a big boy crib!!! This was very exciting to hear. He also recently had a brain scan, which showed that he has not had any more bleeding on the brain. However, the pockets on his brain are a little larger than they should be, so they are watching that closely and may have to put in another shunt if they get any bigger. He had a few more days without dropping his stats, but recently it has started up again. Not nearly as frequent as before, but it's still happening. They will be discussing it during rounds tomorrow, so hopefully they'll come up with a plan. So it feels like we take a step forward, then a couple steps back. But I know he is strong, and he'll make it through this. My brother, Aaron, is going to drive down to VA for the weekend so he can be with Ian quite a bit. Hopefully the extra attention will help him!

HOME!!

Well, after a very long day yesterday, I am home!



I went to see Ian at the hospital at 9:00 yesterday morning. A few updates on him....

Ian was having a very difficult time on Wednesday. While I was there, he "crashed" twice. What happens is he has a lot of "gunk" in his left lung and it gets stuck in his airway quite often. So when that happens, all his stats drop down to almost nothing. It was AWFUL watching that happen to my sweet little guy, and extremely scary. Well, after they discussed what was happening, they decided to put him on albuterol to see if that would help. IT DID!! Or at least it has so far. He hasn't "crashed" once since they put him on it. So he's now going to be able to start working his way off that vent. We really don't have any idea how long he will be in the hospital. Saying goodbye to him yesterday was one of the hardest things I've ever had to do. I know that me being home is the best thing for our family right now. I've had a few people give me a hard time about choosing to come home, which does not make things any easier for me. But I know Ian is being looked after by some of the best nurses. And I know he'll come home soon!



Darek was able to go to the doctor on Tuesday for a checkup. He is doing great! Everything looks wonderful with him. He is weighing in now at 4 lbs 6 oz. and is 17 inches long. While I was in the Houston airport yesterday, I had so many people stopping me asking about how big he was and how old he is. It's funny when I tell them he's only 2 months old. He traveled very well, especially for having a 4 hour layover in Houston. Stepping off the airplane in SLC was the best feeling!


We met Papa, Grandma and big brother Alex at the airport at 11:45 pm. Grandma starting crying and Alex had the biggest smile on his face. Of course, I couldn't contain myself either. The sight of seeing my big boy was wonderful!!! But holding a 4 lb. child in my arm really made me realize how big Alex is. Grandma got to hold Darek while Papa got my bags. Alex was a little nervous, but just beamed at his little brother. He didn't want to hold him right away. But by the time we were leaving the airport, he let us know he was ready. We found a chair for him to sit down and he was perfect holding his brother. It was a sight I have been waiting to see for 4 years. (Oh, and just so you know, the reason Ryan wasn't there is because he just started a new job working graveyard shifts and was working that night )

Life has been a little crazy with lots of friends and family dying to see Darek and waiting for Ian to get home. But it has been so much fun getting into being a Mom of babies again. (That, and getting all the cute little baby clothes and accessories!!) But we are so grateful to have these little boys in our lives. They have already affected so many people in the short while they've been alive.

A quick post

I just had to post a few pictures, but I'm getting ready to take Darek into the doctor, so this will have to be fast.

Ian was sweet enough to finally show me his eyes. His Daddy already got to see them, but this was a first for me.
This is the 4 month old (coincidentally named Ian) of the people we are staying with. To give you an idea of how tiny our little guys are, here is a comparison.

Darek's many faces....

Isn't that smile the cutest!!! I guess that isn't a question, more a statement!