tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-18602033714072287942024-03-12T20:38:12.902-06:00The Wood FamilyFamily Is Not An Important Thing, It's EVERYTHING.Ryan and Mandihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03122643187499057374noreply@blogger.comBlogger366125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1860203371407228794.post-44641128349110778342016-10-18T14:53:00.004-06:002016-10-18T14:53:55.717-06:00Pinner's ConferenceI just wanted to let everyone know about an exciting event coming up soon! This is something I was able to attend last year with my mom and sisters. We had the best time and I can't wait to go again! There are a whole bunch of classes to choose from. I think my favorites last year were the ones put on by The Wood Connection. I have the cutest nativity set now thanks to one of their classes. But seriously, you should all go!<br />
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This first picture was at the VIP night where we participated in games. I got to choose a prize and won a HUGE check for around $9.00! :) It was pretty awesome carrying that thing around though.<br />
<a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-rZgbr567r0k/WAaLJUC8B4I/AAAAAAAADOs/wDSznXaVM9Q1W_54zn-frna-rQ0kzTcpQCK4B/s1600/Pinners%2B2.jpg" imageanchor="1"><img border="0" height="400" src="https://2.bp.blogspot.com/-rZgbr567r0k/WAaLJUC8B4I/AAAAAAAADOs/wDSznXaVM9Q1W_54zn-frna-rQ0kzTcpQCK4B/s400/Pinners%2B2.jpg" width="400" /></a><br />
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It was fun taking classes with my mom and sisters and there were a few that I took on my own. <br />
<a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-gyQBwCtkdyE/WAaLKzMo0cI/AAAAAAAADO0/ToYIA0kVoBMVRtnJ2g3DgdwsYUm36dzAgCK4B/s1600/Pinners.jpg" imageanchor="1"><img border="0" height="300" src="https://4.bp.blogspot.com/-gyQBwCtkdyE/WAaLKzMo0cI/AAAAAAAADO0/ToYIA0kVoBMVRtnJ2g3DgdwsYUm36dzAgCK4B/s400/Pinners.jpg" width="400" /></a><br />
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I can't wait for Nov 4-5 so I can attend and have more wonderful times there. Hope you are all able to make it!<br />
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<br />Ryan and Mandihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03122643187499057374noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1860203371407228794.post-62967925169542158842015-03-10T11:07:00.000-06:002015-03-10T11:07:01.392-06:00ER visitOn Friday I decided I was feeling so good that I went and did our grocery shopping. I wasn't on any medication (since you can't drive on medication) and headed out to the store. Everything went well at the store. I probably lifted a few things I shouldn't but was very cautious about everything I was doing. I got home and unloaded all but the really heavy stuff and then took it easy. Well by the middle of the day I could tell I over did it. I was sore and just not feeling good. By the evening I was having a horrible pain on my right side. I wasn't sure if it was a muscle pain, or if I had torn something, but it made it really hard to move at all. When I sat still, I was fine. But getting up, or moving at all caused me horrendous pain. I felt worse than I had when I first got out of surgery. On Saturday, I did nothing. We didn't go anywhere, I didn't move. I just sat down and put heat on it. Nothing changed. No improvement at all. <br />
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Sunday I woke up to the same pain, but it may have gotten even a little bit worse. At that point, Ryan said he was taking me to the hospital. If it was something serious, we needed to get it looked at. I was thinking it might be appendicitis, but thought how random that would be. But I really had no idea. We went to the ER and the car ride there was one of the most excruciating things I have ever been through. Minor bumps on the road were painful. Big bumps or especially the raised sidewalks downtown caused me to scream out in pain and start sobbing. Seriously, worst pain ever. We got to the ER and got checked in. Got an IV in me and some morphine started. Funny thing was the morphine didn't even really get rid of the pain. Took the edge off, but getting up to do anything was still extremely painful. The doctor came in an examined me. He pushed down on the area that was painful and surrounding areas. He said because of the pain it was causing, he didn't want to do an ultrasound because that would likely be even more painful. So he ordered a CT scan. I had to wait and drink all the contrast for 1 1/2 hours before I could go in. We finally got in there to do the scan. It was my first one and a very interesting experience. It took about 45 minutes to get the results back. It showed a pocket of fluid that could possibly be causing the pain, but nothing else. The doctor felt bad that there wasn't more that they could do. He prescribed more meds and sent me on my way. I was happy that it wasn't anything worse, but wishing for a more certain answer. I was drugged up pretty good from the hospital meds, so the car ride home was much easier. We picked up my prescription and headed home. By the time I went to bed that night I was feeling okay. I wasn't sure if it was still the meds in me and didn't want to chance it, so I took one more dose that night before bed. <br />
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I woke up Monday morning and the pain was gone. Totally gone. I started pushing on the same area to see if I would feel it lingering still, but there was no pain. I was shocked but thrilled! I was feeling better than I had on Friday when I went out shopping. I'm so glad I went into the ER, because I think whatever it was (pushing on the site to help absorb the fluid, getting me drugged up enough that my body could take some jostling to absorb fluid, etc.) was why the pain was gone. I think this will always be one of those funky things that happened that I'll never quite get an answer to, but I'm just happy to be feeling better.<br />
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It's Tuesday now (2 weeks since surgery) and I have been off medication 2 whole days. YAY! I will be going back to work tomorrow and will also have an appointment with my doctor tomorrow morning. I'm just so ready for all of this to be behind me and get back to normal life. However I've also been a little emotional today. I'm not sure if it's because I'm trying to get over these last 6 weeks and dealing with all that has happened or I'm not sure that I'm 100% ready for it all to be over. I keep thinking of the highs and lows and wishing so badly to have another high. But it will come. Maybe not in the form of another pregnancy, but there are many other 'highs' in my life. Soccer season is starting up here very soon. Alex will be turning 12 in 2 short weeks. Lagoon will be opening in about 3 weeks and I can't wait to have some family time there. I'm ready to be well again and go back to all the happiness I was feeling before.Ryan and Mandihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03122643187499057374noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1860203371407228794.post-4573189683654429952015-03-05T11:22:00.000-07:002015-03-05T11:22:46.157-07:00Post Surgery updateI have been debating whether to continue to post about any of this after receiving some harsh criticism and comments. But ultimately I decided that this isn't about anyone else or for anyone else. It's for me and for my family. I'm happy to let others read it, so I'll have to deal with those who don't like what I have to say. So criticize all you want! :)<br />
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I am now a week and almost 2 days past surgery. I'll give just a little summary of the surgery.<br />
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Tuesday, Feb 24th - Got to the hospital about 1:30 and checked in. Soon after I was taken to a room to get all the hospital garb on. A nurse started an IV and we ended up waiting in that room for about 3 hours. At around 4:45 (I think) I was wheeled out and said goodbye to Ryan. I was taken into another room where a nurse came and talked to me about any fears and worries I had, which really boiled down to not knowing exactly what would happen and what they would find. We went over what would happen in surgery and that I would get to talk to the doctor and anesthesiologist before going in. I was then wheeled down a hall and watched as my doctor started getting ready for the surgery. He came over and talked to me as did the anesthesiologist. We signed all the papers and headed into the OR. I moved from one bed to the other and was almost immediately asleep. <br />
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The hospital stay was actually pretty good overall. I had really great nurses and my doctor was always checking up on me. It was hard being on the maternity floor with a whole bunch of new moms and babies everywhere, but I will tell you that I stayed really emotionally strong throughout my stay. Even with pain and everything, I did not shed a single tear while I was there. And not because I wanted to prove something, it was simply because I was really doing okay. There were a couple moments that really tested my strength. At one point, a nurse was quietly coming into my room. She had her back to me and I could see her wheeling something in. At first I thought it was the nurse coming to check my blood pressure. Nope. She had gotten rooms mixed up and was wheeling a baby into my room. I very kindly told her she had the wrong room. She turned around, shocked, apologized and left the room. Ryan and I kinda laughed it off, but it stung a little. Another one of my nurses was applauding me for my progress with walking and said if I felt like walking around, the evening was the best time to do it, cause most of the babies were back in the nursery by then, so I could go take a look at them. I told her I didn't think I was emotionally prepared for that yet. Her jaw dropped (realizing what she said) and smiled and walked out. Again, it stung, but I occupied myself with new episodes of Survivor and The Amazing Race. :) The boys came to see me on Wednesday afternoon, which I loved! Because I was on the maternity floor, with the sicknesses going around, they couldn't let the boys come to my room, so we worked it out to get a wheelchair so I could go down to the lobby to see them. They were a little freaked out seeing me in a wheelchair and hospital clothes. Darek got a little upset and told me he just wanted me home. But I loved seeing them and was so grateful to my mom for bringing them to me. I ended up doing so well that they let me leave on Thursday afternoon around 1:00. I really wanted to be home by the time the boys got home from school that day. They were so happy to see me home and I was thrilled to be there.<br />
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Friday I got my staples out. My doctor had ended up leaving town and asked a family practice doctor if she would remove them. Ryan took me over in the morning to get it done. We were waiting for her in one of the rooms. She walked in and yelled, "Congratulations!" She looked around and then asked, "Well, where is the baby?" We told her that we had an ectopic pregnancy and there wasn't a baby. She then started making up excuses as to why she said what she did. It became very uncomfortable because she just kept carrying on about it, but with no apology. We finally got through it and she just as happily said, "Well, have a great weekend!" As we walked down through the lobby, I lost it. I don't know if it was because it was the final straw of dealing with insensitivity, or just the major realization of not having a baby. But I cried as Ryan held me. He made the comment that she would be one doctor we would never be seeing in the future. We got to the car and I calmed down and I found my strong self again.<br />
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I should explain that I did end up with a full C-section incision. They did go in laparoscopic first, so I had 2 incisions from that and then my big one. While I was in the hospital, the two little ones started to itch a bit but they didn't look too bad. It got a little worse on Friday and I showed the doctor that took the staples out. She didn't see that anything was too bad. But over the weekend they got really red, really itchy and my skin started bubbling around the incisions. On Monday I called my doctors office to see if I could get checked out. I knew he was probably busy, but when I called at 8:30 and still hadn't had a call back at 2:00, I decided to go to the instacare. His office was in the same building, so I went up there first to see if he wanted to look at it. The nurse went back and talked to him and she had me come back really quick. He came in and said I was having an allergic reaction to the adhesive they put on to attach the steri strips. He ended up having to rip the steri strips off (of blistered skin). Yeah, that didn't feel good. He said that I wouldn't have anything holding my incision together, so I would have to be extra careful with what I do. But there was really nothing he could give me to help with the itching or blistering. Awesome. He asked me to come to his office after he was done torturing me. :) He said that while the pathology reports had not come in while I was still in the hospital and he wanted to go over those with me now. He had thought after the surgery that the mass was a cyst but after getting the report back, they found it was actually a tumor. A benign tumor, thankfully. But he said because they were trying to save what they could, they didn't get all of the tumor, so it was a possibility it could grow back. He also said that what they removed from my fallopian tube was indeed the pregnancy. He said he would see me back in a couple weeks.<br />
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So here we are today. Other than this darn rash, I'm healing pretty well. Of course, still a bit of pain, but I think I'm doing okay. I've been out of the house quite a few times and I've done pretty well. This time has really given me a chance to reflect on the last month. Weird that it's been a month since I took that test. Part of me is sad still. I feel though that having what I thought was a miscarriage, was a blessing in disguise. I was able to process the loss of the baby during that time. So as I've gone through this surgery I could focus on my physical well-being, instead of being emotionally distraught along with it. I have been overwhelmingly grateful for so many things. As I stated in my last post, I knew that one of the only ways I could handle this outcome is if my health could be affected if it hadn't happened. Knowing that this was a tumor, it would've kept growing and growing. And although benign, who knows what the outcome might have been if it hadn't been caught and taken care of. I have no idea how long it's been there or how fast it was growing. This surgery honestly could have taken both ovaries and tubes had anything gone wrong, so it seems to me that there is a reason I was able to keep everything. I'm still hoping and praying that I'll be able to have a healthy pregnancy in the future. Now knowing it can happen and knowing the promptings I've had, I can't see giving up at this point. I'm also really scared about having another ectopic. But I know I can't let fear rule over me. As Ryan has said to me a couple times now, "We need to let you heal first, then decide if we want to attempt anything again." I personally like to have a plan, so waiting and having patience isn't always easy for me. Besides the blessings of having a successful surgery, I have been blessed tremendously by those around me. I have had so many offers of help and comfort. Dinners brought over, family and friends calling or texting to check up on me. I know that there are so many people that have prayed and continue to pray for me and my family and I want them all to know that I have felt that love and comfort. I don't think I realized how much I am loved and how many people truly care about me. It has been eye opening and inspiring for me to see. It has been hard to be on the accepting end of service, to have so many others provide service for me. I think I will also try a little harder to find ways to serve others. Knowing how much the littlest kind comment, flowers, text, phone call, dinner, hug, conversation, card, lunch, etc. has meant to me and how it has helped me grow stronger everyday. I want to do the same for others and give back what has been given to me. <br />
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I want to end this post by thanking my Heavenly Father. I truly thought as I was going through the last month that this would really affect my faith. That I would have a hard time understanding and getting through this trial in my life. Especially with what we have already experienced in the past. While I'm so sad and wish with everything in me that this pregnancy didn't have to end this way, I'm grateful to Him for giving me some understanding to why it ended this way. I don't know that I'm exactly grateful for the experience, not yet. But I'm grateful for my health and know I am blessed to have the family and beautiful children that I have. And for those things alone, I know I have been given more than I deserve. Ryan and Mandihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03122643187499057374noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1860203371407228794.post-21081091537893159412015-02-24T11:54:00.004-07:002015-02-24T11:54:57.242-07:00YesterdayI don't even know what to say at this point. So many emotions and uncertainty. We went to the ultrasound appointment yesterday. There was nothing there. No sac, no baby. Ryan was there with me, which I was very grateful for. We were told when we left that the doctor would be calling me after the Radiologist typed out the results. Ryan and I talked about the possibilities of what might be going on. Of course you go to the internet and find stories that match yours. We found one where the same thing happened to her and the baby was just hiding and they didn't see anything until 15 weeks. How that's possible, I don't know. So part of me still wants to believe that there is this small possibility that there is a baby there. We really didn't know what to think and just waited for the doctor to call. I had been given tickets to the Jazz game that I had planned to take Darek to. After my day, it was the last thing I wanted to do. But I'm glad I did. The doctor actually called me right as we were getting on Frontrunner to head downtown. He said as usual with me, nothing is coming out right. And he asked me to try not to worry, but said he's wondering if the cyst that they have seen on my right ovary is possibly a tumor. Tumor. And he's wondering if it might possibly the thing that is producing the hcg hormone. He said he would be talking to another doctor in the morning about it and asked that I call him around 9am. I got off the phone and texted Ryan the information. I knew that if I called him and had to say those words, I would probably lose it and just want to come home. Darek and I got to the game and really had a great time. And it helped me not to completely lose my mind.<br />
<img src="https://scontent-dfw.xx.fbcdn.net/hphotos-xpa1/v/t1.0-9/10947238_10206248389071216_2377011879132611013_n.jpg?oh=6e9f4dc80320b33a92d27251c965e161&oe=558A9C77" /><img src="https://fbcdn-sphotos-h-a.akamaihd.net/hphotos-ak-xfp1/v/t1.0-9/11021141_10206248521474526_7875673931470913828_n.jpg?oh=cf5078bda5a4f3341d02cb8d1a9ee910&oe=55912D9E&__gda__=1431588347_3dd83297d8614634f1e4eb722d093303" /><br />
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We left the game to come home and as we were waiting for Frontrunner to come home my doctor called me again. He said he was thinking about it and was wondering if I could make sure I didn't eat or drink anything past midnight just in case the doctor thinks this is something that should be removed immediately and need to come in for surgery tomorrow (today). I called Ryan and told him about it. He's been so positive, trying to research anything he can to find out as much as he can. I'm in a daze right now. If I let myself think about all of it, it's too overwhelming. So I'm just trying to wait for another 30 minutes until I talk to my doctor to find out what happens from here. I am feeling so many emotions right now. Tiny little bit hopeful that there could still be a baby, scared of surgery and the idea that if there is a baby that surgery would kill it, angry that all of this is even happening, grateful that if this is a tumor that we were able to catch it early to remove it, tired (okay that's not an emotion, but I am exhausted from all of this), frustrated that we still don't have answers, and love for such an amazing husband and children. The one thing I told my Heavenly Father when I started spotting and bleeding is that one of the only ways I could accept all of this is if this had to happen to get me to realize I had a health problem that I would not have looked for or realized I had without getting pregnant. I am praying that this is truly not the case. But if it is, at least I will know why all of this has happened. <br />
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I'm thinking I will wait to post this until I have answers from my doctor.<br />
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Well it looks like I'm going in for surgery today. I'm still at work and in 'work mode', so I'm not quite freaking out yet. As soon as I'm in my husbands arms at home I'm sure the breakdown will start. My doctor said this mass could be a number of different things and it's best to get it out. He said there is a pregnancy somewhere in my body and it's not in my uterus, so the fear is that maybe it is ectopic in that mass. And if it bursts then we could be in real trouble. So I'm headed to the hospital at 1:30 for surgery around 3:00. I'm so nervous. They'll initially go in laparoscopic to investigate. So I may end up with a couple little incisions, or he said I could wake up with another c-section scar. This is so overwhelming. Anyway, I have lots to do. Here we go...Ryan and Mandihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03122643187499057374noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1860203371407228794.post-9012106186513789822015-02-23T11:01:00.000-07:002015-02-23T11:01:03.926-07:00Never EndingWell, the past few days have been interesting. As my doctor says, I'm weird and am really not fitting in anywhere close to what normal is. I went in to see my doctor last Wednesday. He said it looked as though my body was probably going to miscarry the baby. The strange part about the comment was that I thought I already had because of what I went through on Sunday - Tuesday. But apparently it wasn't over, which crushed me. So he ordered another blood test to find out what my hcg levels were after all of the bleeding on Sunday. On Thursday we found out they had risen from 1210 to over 3000. ???? Very confusing. But I figured my body was just in the process of lowering back to normal. He asked that I follow up with him on Saturday to let him know how I was doing. On Saturday, the bleeding had all but stopped and I hadn't experienced any major pain since Tuesday. Again, very confusing. So he ordered the hcg again. Results came back a few hours later at over 5000. WHAT?!? That was when I got the comment of how 'weird' I am. From everything he saw and what had happened, he really thought I was miscarrying. But these numbers tell something very different. The hcg does not go up if you are not pregnant. There are a few exceptions. One of which is a blighted ovum (where there is a sac but no baby). So that is still a possibility. He also mentioned that there could have been twins, that I miscarried one and the other one is still there. And in very unfortunate circumstances, some cancers can cause hcg levels to rise. I'm really not worried about that because of everything else I've experienced. So my levels are now high enough that they should be able to see something on ultrasound. I have one today at 3:00 pm. I'm bummed I have to wait all day, but the nice part about it being in the afternoon is that Ryan should be able to come, where we weren't sure if he could come at all. I just pray I get an answer. They may not be able to see a heartbeat yet. Around my levels, usually all that is visible is the sac and the baby is just a stem. I'm praying that if there is a baby, we'll see more than that, just so I can put my mind at ease instead of having to wait even longer. If there is no sac, no baby then obviously I'm no longer pregnant. But then the question will be why my levels are still rising. So here we are still with no certain answers. I thought for certain we were past this and I was processing and coming to terms with the miscarriage. I am elated that there could still be a baby in there, but don't want to let myself get excited or think about it too much. Because there are still major reasons to be worried. <br />
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Last night we had my in-laws, Ryan's sister and 2 nephews over for game night at our house. We decided it was time to tell them. We didn't want to use the cute way we had planned to because of all of the circumstances. We told them we were pregnant, but immediately told them everything else that was going on. My sister-in-law was shocked. ;) But my mother-in-law was not quite as shocked. She has been working in the temple a lot and she said that last month she kept having the impression that we were pregnant and she was just waiting for us to tell them. She also went on to say that she had the impression that it was a girl. We told them about the promptings that we had received. My sister-in-law made the comment that we must all be very in tune and that she wasn't because she didn't have a clue! I can tell my mother-in-law is worried for us, especially with all the struggles she had with having children. But it was fun to tell them and it's nice to know we have even more prayers coming our way. So now to get through the next 4 hours...Ryan and Mandihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03122643187499057374noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1860203371407228794.post-88448310929737520652015-02-18T11:37:00.001-07:002015-02-18T11:37:43.686-07:00EmotionsSo it has been a few days since it happened. Sunday was by far the worst day emotionally. I was beyond hysterical really. Monday was a little better, but still pretty emotional. I was home from work that day and had a few people to keep me company. My sweet boss brought me flowers. And even though I said I wasn't looking for sympathy from anyone, it was truly inspiring and overwhelming to see how many people were there to support me however they could. Yesterday I came to work. I was still upset, but more than upset, just in a bad mood. An angry mood. It was yesterday afternoon that I came to a decision. I am still sad, so very sad. But I don't want to be angry. Those hysterical feelings I had on Sunday, the 'out of control' feelings, were a little terrifying to experience again. I experienced them throughout our fertility treatment days and for a time after Ian died. I do not want to be that person again. Depressed, angry, hurt... I have too much good in my life to let this rule over me. Yes, I wanted this baby more than anything. But it is gone and there is nothing I can do to bring it back. So I choose to be happy. I will grieve. When I go to the store and see the outfit I had picked out to buy if we had a girl, I will grieve. When I saw the pregnancy tests I took that were sitting on my dresser, I picked them up, cried, threw them away and I grieved. I don't have answers and that is and will be the hardest part. I feel my faith has been scarred a little, shaken, but not destroyed. I still have a lot of discussion to have with my Heavenly Father, but I don't feel totally abandoned anymore. I truly hope that this won't be my only miracle pregnancy. I hope we can still buy the crib we have picked out, I can still ban Dora the Explorer from our home for another child and yes, even buy all those little jars of baby food.<br />
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Since it has been a question I've been asked the most, "Do you guys think you'll try again?", let me try and give you an explanation for that question. 1. I don't know what this miscarriage has done to my body. I don't know if it'll totally screw it up and add to fertility problems. 2. Just because it worked one time, doesn't mean it'll automatically work again. Which brings up more issues. If it doesn't work, how long do we try? Do we seek fertility treatments again? You get the picture. 3. I'm scared out of my mind that this will happen again. I don't know how many times I've made the comment, "One of my worst fears is to get pregnant after all this time and then miscarry it." So this is really a nightmare come true for me. There are so many years and trials that go into that question. So if I don't give you an answer, please understand this is not a simple "yes" or "no" for me. Ryan and I will decide as time goes on what is right for our family. It could be soon but likely will be several months before we even think about it. You also have to understand the loss my boys have had to deal with in their short lives. Darek is finally coming to terms and understanding what it would have been like to have a twin brother and how unfair it is that Ian isn't here. He's dealing with this loss pretty hard (though he shows it in different ways). He was so excited to finally get to be a big brother. And Alex is so strong for what he has experienced. I think much of his concern is for me, which is so humbling to see as a mother. <br />
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So that is all for now. I want to thank you all again for the love and support you have shown me. You have no idea what it has meant to me.Ryan and Mandihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03122643187499057374noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1860203371407228794.post-3201829965078857032015-02-16T07:57:00.000-07:002015-02-16T07:57:10.972-07:00Longest Weeks of my Life***I have just finished writing this post. I just want to make it clear to whomever reads this, that this is not a way to seek for sympathy or attention. This was for me. This was my therapy to get through these last couple weeks. And this is my journal. I wanted a record of these couple of weeks. I wrote all of these posts on the day of or morning after they occurred, so these feelings were all 'real time'. <br />
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This has been one of the most exciting and difficult weeks I've ever experienced. Let me start with a few months ago. Ryan and I have always wanted more children. I am so grateful for the 3 boys I have and know I'm so lucky to have them, but our family has just never quite felt complete. I honestly feel like we have 2 girls (I keep feeling are twin girls) still to join our family, but my intuition isn't always the strongest. We've discussed having more but have never known which route to take. I knew I would NEVER do fertility treatments again. So it was either adopt again or hope that one day I would miraculously get pregnant. So in December I had an extremely strong feeling that we really needed to try that month to get pregnant. I've never experienced something quite like this. It was truly as though someone was yelling it at me. So I decided to see what happened. But truly somehow I knew that I would get pregnant if we did what we could. That brings me to this past week.<br />
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<u>Monday</u> - Thought there was a possibility I might be pregnant but was too scared to take a test. Told myself I would do it the next day. <br />
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<u>Tuesday</u> - Went to the dollar store on my lunch break and bought two tests. I went home really quick and took a test. I was so nervous to look at it. I sat in the bathroom and counted out the 3 minutes I had to wait. I convinced myself that it was likely I would see the one little line that I have seen for the last 12 years all those times I thought I might be pregnant. I also convinced myself that I would be okay. Finally I looked at the test and was shocked to see a second little line there. I started screaming and crying. Immediately I thanked my Heavenly Father. Ryan just happened to call me soon after that while I was still sniffling. I had texted him earlier about something and he just happened to be calling me back right then. So I talked to him about the thing we had texted about earlier. And then I just blurted out, "Um I think I'm pregnant!" He was at work so it was hard for him to react, but was shocked and excited. Both of us kind of wanted some kind of confirmation, so he suggested I go to the doctor and have a blood test done. We decided not to tell anyone until we got the test results back. <br />
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<u>Wednesday</u> - I took the second test in the morning. It also had that extra little line on it, which for me was confirmation enough that I was indeed pregnant. I was supposed to be hearing back about the blood test (which didn't come back until Thursday), but honestly I felt like I had enough proof. We decided we would tell the boys that evening. After Ryan got home from work, I picked the boys up from the park. I told them we needed to sit and talk about something. Alex got nervous and started asking what it was about. He guessed that we were moving or that he did something and was in trouble. I told him to hang on and we'd be home in a few seconds. The boys sat on the couch and I had Ryan start recording it. Alex then thought that by the way we were acting that it was good news. I told him that good news to us wasn't necessarily going to be good news for him. And then I told them that I was pregnant. "No you're not," said Alex. "Yes, I am." "No, you're not." "Dude, I really am." Alex then got up off the couch, went into his room and shut the door. He was not thrilled with our news. (We kinda figured he wouldn't be.) I told him we needed to talk to him about it and finally threatened to ground him if he didn't come out. He did and we sat and talked about it. Darek couldn't have been happier. He said some of the sweetest things. My favorite was, "Mom, I really hope the baby comes out brown like me." :) We had a good talk and had to let Alex go to get used to the idea. <br />
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<u>Thursday</u> - On cloud nine. Trying to think of fun ways to tell our family. Imagining the looks on family members faces as they heard the news. We decided to take the boys down to the gateway after school and have some fun down there at a new arcade place. On the car ride there I finally got the call from the doctor confirming the pregnancy through the blood test. Although I didn't need to hear it, it gave me an extra boost of confidence and excitement to hear it from them. We had a perfect evening which included finding the perfect way to tell the grandparents about the baby. We got home late after a great night. I struggled all night to sleep. <br />
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<u>Friday</u> - After a rough night I got up a little late and started getting ready. Went to the bathroom and started bleeding. Started getting worried but wasn't experiencing any pain so I hoped that all would be okay. Had a little more bleeding throughout the day but again no pain. Cried off and on throughout work and was constantly looking up symptoms trying to figure out if I miscarrying or if I might be okay still. Called my new OB and found out he was not in on Friday. Made an appt. with my regular doctor, but decided to cancel it and wait to see what happened. Tried to be positive and have faith but I was just worried. We let the boys know what was going on so they were aware. I asked Alex if he was a little relieved that I might not have a baby. He said no, that he really was starting to get excited about it. <br />
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<u>Saturday</u> - Still bleeding, but not much. Went through the day and started getting some work done on the basement. While we were out doing some shopping, I asked Ryan if we could pretend that everything was going to be just fine and browse the baby section for a while. We found a gray crib that we really loved. I saw something Dora the Explorer and said that our child would not be a Dora fan (I can't stand that show). I also remembered how much I hated buying all the little jars of food, but love those tasty puff treats. I was impressed to see that the boxes of baby cereal had been updated and look much easier to use. It was fun to walk through and imagine being able to start shopping in that section again. It's been a long time. That helped to take some of the worry away temporarily. We had planned that we were going to tell my parents that day, but decided to wait until we had more answers. It was so hard having them over and not saying anything. After they left, I was laying on the couch and Ryan was setting up our new computer. Out of no where I had the worst, sharp pain hit me on my right side. Almost immediately after, my mind went to ectopic pregnancy. The pain went away quickly but I started researching anything I could. Not only was I now worried about the life of my baby, but now concerned for my own well being. Throughout trying to get pregnant up until this point I was really trying to rely on faith. When trying to get pregnant, I decided not to do ovulation tests or charting or any fertility medication. I just wanted to let my Heavenly Father know that I had faith that this baby was supposed to be here. But this is where my faith started wavering. I couldn't understand why if He had been so forceful letting me know this baby was supposed to come, why all of this was happening. I told Ryan I needed a blessing. He gave me one and I was told everything that I needed to hear. After the blessing, Ryan asked me to pray. So I sat there and prayed with my husband. I didn't stop crying through the blessing or prayer. I felt comfort after that my health/life was not in danger. And I feel as though things will be okay with the baby. But I don't know that I'll stop worrying until I hear that heartbeat. <br />
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<u>Sunday</u> - We decided to really take it easy today and stay home to rest. I let the ladies in the primary presidency know that I would not be at our meeting and would not be at church today. I filled them in and asked for any prayers they could send. As a family we decided to go on a ride up to Ogden and through the mountains and back home through Park City. It took about 2 hours and was beautiful. The different kinds of beauty in our state are pretty amazing. A very good reminder of all that we have been given. The boys even enjoyed themselves (without electronic devices) and we had some really good laughs on our trip. No matter what happens, I want to remember this week. Both the wonderful, happy feelings and the feelings of devastation. I am planning to see the doctor tomorrow. Again, I want to have faith that everything is going to be great and maybe I'll get to see the first little picture of our little one. But I am nervous and scared. Because I know that if that's not the case and this little baby is gone, I will be extremely devastated. I understand why people wait to tell others about pregnancy until after 12 weeks, but I almost wish I had told my parents and shared this news with everyone. I have felt very alone through these past few days. I'm so grateful I've had Ryan, or I truly would've gone crazy. If I do miscarry they will feel the sadness, but at least they would have been able to feel the joy too, even if for a short while. Okay, but I am staying positive! Once we do have some answers, whatever they are, I will probably post this. For now I will save this until I can come back and post tomorrow. <u>Sunday evening</u> - Another breakdown after more bleeding and some clotting (sorry for the TMI). I'm not seeing a positive ending in all of this. And I'm angry. I'm hurt and angry. Ryan came into the bedroom and we sat and discussed our mutual hurt and anger. We were finally at a point where we were accepting of our infertility. Not thrilled about it, but had come to terms with it. Why would Heavenly Father send me promptings, very obvious promptings that I need to get pregnant, allow me to get pregnant and then take it all away? I hope more than anything that I am over reacting and tomorrow I will feel silly and embarrassed to have written this. But today it is hard for me to see how anything positive can happen. I'm going to keep praying and hope that tomorrow will bring me a lot of joy!<br />
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<u>Monday</u> - This is truly the longest week of my life. It's 7:45 am, I'm sitting at work and I'm so nervous. I'm waiting for my doctors office to open so I can call and make an appointment. And I'm praying they can get me in quickly instead of waiting all day today. Honestly my mind keeps going to positive outcomes. Seeing that beautiful picture of our baby. Having my doctor tell me this is all normal. Then in the back of my mind I know I need to be prepared for the other possibilities. So now I wait. <u>Monday 12:30</u> - Just returned from seeing my doctor. No ultrasound. Bummer. He said that everything actually looked okay, but that he needed to do a blood test to see what my hcg levels are. That is the best way to tell if I am still pregnant. He didn't seem concerned about the sharp pain I experienced, so I'm hoping that it truly is nothing. The blood work will take a few hours to come back and he told me he would call as soon as he gets it back. More waiting. Even that won't give a definite answer. I will likely go back in a couple days to retest my levels to make sure they are still going up. But the appointment as a whole has made me feel a little better. <u>Monday 7:30</u> - Got the results of the blood test around 5:30. It could be good or bad. If I'm going off how far along I think I am, then the results are not good. But if I'm wrong and not as far along as I think I am, then the results could be fine. So more waiting. I think my doctor is planning on an ultrasound tomorrow that should confirm things one way or the other. I'm trying not to cry tonight. This sucks.<br />
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<u>Tuesday</u> - Called my OB this morning with my hcg numbers. He didn't seem concerned about how low they were and said not to worry about the charts, that the numbers vary so much with each person that you really can't follow it. I was hoping that he would do an ultrasound but he said that would be pointless, that nothing would really show up and all it would do is cause more worry. So he said tomorrow we draw blood again and get the hcg numbers again. If they've gone up, we should be okay. If they've dropped then we know that we are losing or we've lost the baby. I think we are going to take the boys out to a movie tonight just so I have something else to focus on. I just have to get through my work day. As I read through this and I'm sure once people read through it, it will seem very blown out of proportion. Especially if it turns out that everything is okay. But I think what sometimes is forgotten is that this is the first time I've been pregnant in 12 years! I may not get another opportunity at this (I'm sure not getting any younger). So if it feels like I'm a little desperate, I am. And maybe my desperation makes things more stressful than they need to be, but put yourself in my situation and tell me you wouldn't feel the same or at least similar to this. <u>Tuesday 3:45</u> - Just got home from work and sat and sang at the piano for a minute. My favorite songs to sing are primary songs. The one I started singing made me cry a little. It's called "I'll Follow Him in Faith". In the song it says, "The Lord has blessed me with simple faith. If I pray for help, He will give me strength." "The Lord has blessed me to feel His love. I have heard His promptings and learned to trust. So in all I do, I'll be faithful to the things I know are true." Those words really hit home to me right now and I know I needed to hear that. I have heard my Heavenly Father's promptings, followed the promptings and now I need to trust in Him. And how many times have I prayed for help in the last few days? Each time I do, I receive comfort. Faith is not an easy thing to have sometimes, but this was a good reminder to keep trying.<br />
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<u>Wednesday</u> - Woke up with the puffiest eyes I've ever had, after having another exceptional cry last night. Seriously, poor Ryan. I honestly felt like I was going crazy last night. He compared this to how I felt when we were going through fertility treatments. And truly that's about right. Both situations are horrible in their own right and just suck. Went and got my blood drawn again this morning at about 9:30. They are testing the hcg and this should give me an answer. I just need an answer. I need to know how to feel. I'm sure you can tell from this post how up and down I have been. On Monday it took about 5 hours to get results. I'd love to get them before then, but I'm hoping by 2:30, I'll have an answer. <u>Wednesday 3:45</u> - I have been nervous all day but finally got a call just before 3:00. My hcg level rose! It was at 535 and now is at 839. This is still very low, but I might just be a person with low hcg levels. My doctor said that it's nice for me because those with higher levels are the ones that get the horrible morning sickness. I told him that I was never sick with Alex either, so that was another good indicator that things might actually be okay. I have an ultrasound scheduled for Friday. Hoping and praying that we see a little heartbeat! Which means, I will probably not post this until after we have the ultrasound on Friday. Yay! I may actually get through the whole day without crying!!!<br />
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<u>Thursday</u> - I guess Thursdays are just good days. I stayed relatively calm and happy today. We also decided to tell my family today. My sister came up and it just felt like we should tell them. I know we don't have any certain answers yet. But the way I felt was that I have been so up and down and I am struggling to be happy right now. I knew that if we told a few family members, that it would make it a lot easier to be excited and happy, which overall is better for the baby anyway. And if things don't turn out well, I'll have a little more support. So I took the boys over to my parents house around 6:30pm. We had a build-a-bear made and bought a little t-shirt for the bear that Darek wrote "World's Best Grandparents" on. On the birth certificate for the bear we put the birth date as the due date for the baby and in the name spot, we put Baby Wood. I gave it to my mom and said the boys made them a bear for Valentines Day. She took it out and they thought it was really cute. It took her a minute to look at the birth certificate. When she did, she didn't catch on. They didn't really notice the date and thought the boys had just named the bear Baby Wood. I finally had to say, "Baby Wood could be referring to something else." That did it. There were many tears, screaming, jaws dropping and complete shock and happiness. My mom didn't stop hugging me for a very long time. It was a pure moment of joy. One I will probably not forget. Shortly after, my sister came back with her kids after running an errand. My mom showed her the bear and certificate. She thought it was cute and commented that "it looks like it made mom cry." She noticed the Baby Wood, but didn't think anything of it either. We tried to guide her to getting the meaning of it, but she didn't quite get it. So I just blurted out, "I'm pregnant!" "WHAT??!?!" Again shock, a few tears, hugging and happiness. I let them all know that we were having some complications and were just praying that the pregnancy would last. They all said they would be offering prayers as well. But I don't regret my decision to tell them. I texted my other siblings and talked to my other sister on the phone for over 45 minutes. I went to bed so happy last night.<br />
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<u>Friday</u> - I woke up this morning actually a little excited to go to the ultrasound today. I truly believe we are going to be fine. I was a little bummed to get a call late last night from the ultrasound tech saying she had an emergency and wouldn't be able to do my ultrasound until noon instead of 9am. But I was able to talk to her about my situation and she was very sweet which helped put my mind at ease a little more. I am currently sitting here at work at 10:15am. I have to drink 32 ounces of water and can't pee until after the ultrasound. This is going to be a VERY UNCOMFORTABLE 2 hours. And I get kinda sick if I drink too much at once, so I started drinking at 9am, so it's really over 3 hours of being uncomfortable. It'll all be worth it though. I've been praying a lot this morning. And I know there are many others out there doing the same. Hopefully there will be answers soon to come.... <u>Friday evening</u> - So we still don't have any certain answers, but we do have a few questions answered. We saw nothing in the uterus. No sac, no baby. It could be that it's just too early to see anything, so I'm not going to rule that out yet. They did find an enormous cyst on my right ovary (well, either one enormous one or 4 grouped together). That explains the pain I have felt on my right side. Whew! No ectopic pregnancy. Whew! So without seeing anything this either means I have miscarried or it's just too early to detect anything. Either one is completely possible. I did have blood work done right after the ultrasound but will probably not get the results until Monday. Honestly that should be a very good indicator of whether I am still pregnant or not. My hcg levels should be anywhere between 1200-1600 by now. If they are in that range or higher then it's likely that everything is really going to be okay and I'm just not quite as far along as I thought I was. If they aren't in that range or have gone down from the 839 that it was on Wednesday, that would likely indicate a miscarriage. Still don't know where all the bleeding has been coming from, unless it's a miscarriage. So once again, we wait.<br />
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<u>Saturday</u> - Cleaned the house. It has really taken a beating with me going through all of this and it really needed some TLC. Everyone pitched in and it's looking much better. We had ordered 40 lb. boxes of chicken at a great price, so my mom, sister and I got our chicken and cut and sorted it into baggies for meals. After that, we all went up to Ogden to have some fun at Fat Cats. It was a great night. We talked about the baby and how long it's going to be before we get to find out what we're having. We also talked about how crazy it is for me to be going through all the pregnancy stuff again. We all played and had a really fun time with each other. I'm so glad I had today. It has really helped to have my family know what's going on. We don't focus too much on the other possibilities and just really try to be positive and hope everything will be okay. Tomorrow I am teaching sharing time. I've had a hard time preparing this week, but I think it will still go okay. Then after church we're going to my parents for dinner. My Aunt and a few of my cousins will be there as one of my cousins will be entering the MTC this week to go on a mission. It'll be another really wonderful day. And I found out I will have Monday off since it's a holiday. I love extra days to be with my family. Anyway, I'm going to finish my sharing time and head off to bed. It's been a great day.<br />
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<u>Sunday</u> - I went to my primary presidency meeting this morning. I updated them on all of the baby stuff and stayed to talk to them about how we told my family and what an exciting moment it was. I came home to get ready to go to church. I went into the bathroom and found that I was bleeding a lot and this time with clotting. Immediately I knew this was it. In tears, I called the primary president and asked her to take over my sharing time today. I texted my family, apologized for getting them excited and told them I was having the miscarriage. My parents had my boys come over and play while I stayed in bed and cried through most of the day. The miscarriage itself wasn't as horrible as I thought it would be, although it wasn't fun either. But the emotional pain experienced I've only felt a few other times in my life. My baby is gone. This wonderful dream of a sweet little person joining our family that I've had these past couple weeks is gone. I'm broken hearted and am feeling very abandoned by my Heavenly Father. It wasn't enough to leave us infertile for 12 years, it wasn't enough to have already taken one of my children. He had to give me promptings that I would get pregnant, allow it to happen and then take it all away. I have already had a few comments from people that I know mean well, but that the comments almost make things worse. "Maybe the promptings were eternal and not earthly" First, you did not feel these promptings. These promptings were not eternal, they were earthly. Second, You cannot add a miscarried baby to the records of the church. We are not told when the spirit actually enters a person, so I have (nor does anyone else) no idea if this child will be mine after this life. "If it's not meant to be, then it's not meant to be" Why would I receive promptings after 12 years, if this wasn't supposed to be? If it's not meant to be then why would He be so cruel? Why couldn't we have just been left alone and continue on with the way things were? Maybe at some point I will come to terms with this and maybe even find meaning in it. Right now though, there is no lesson, no reason and I am sad and angry. <br />
<br />Ryan and Mandihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03122643187499057374noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1860203371407228794.post-12319697708407060172015-02-10T11:40:00.001-07:002015-02-10T11:40:47.409-07:00A Little UpdateIt seems like a lot of time passes between posts, so just want to update on how everything is going in our family.<br />
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Darek - Is a spunky little 6 1/2 year old and 1st grader. He loves school, friends, learning, playing, food and just about everything else. He goes a million miles a minute and I wouldn't change him for the world. He is a mama's boy still. I love when he will come cuddle with me on my bed and we can just lay there and chat. He is learning to read and doing an amazing job at it! He is also doing very well with math. I'm not a fan of his teacher this year at all, since she never seems to have anything nice to say about Darek, but for some reason he seems to like her. He loves everything Ninja Turtle still. He looks up to his brother so much and one of his favorite past times is to wrestle with him. I have no idea how we've gone this long without either one of them breaking bones or needing stitches (knock on wood). He is a sweet little boy and has an extremely strong spirit. <br />
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Alex - Is a chill almost 12 year old, 6th grader. I can't believe I almost have a 12 year old. Alex loves hanging out with friends and video games. There are other things he enjoys, but those are his top 2. He is most definitely turning into a pre-teen. He is such a good kid, that I really can't complain. But I hear a lot more from him now when he's not agreeing with something we've decided on. Alex is still so smart. He hardly ever needs help with any homework or assignments. He's been put into a higher math and always has near perfect report cards. As good looking as the kid is, you'd think he'd have a "girlfriend". Although he might like a girl, he is very shy and also knows better than talking to his mom about it (since I tease him). But I'm totally fine with it. I don't want a girl taking over his life yet. :) Alex is navigating a lot more towards his Dad lately. They have a lot in common and sit and talk about video games and other things. It makes me happy for Ryan, but sad for me. I'm losing my little boy a little. :( Alex can't wait to turn 12 in a month. All of his friends have graduated from primary and feels very alone in there now. I've arranged so he can go to the Sunday school class with his friends instead of staying in his primary class the rest of the year. He is thrilled!<br />
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Ryan - Is amazing! He has really fit in well at LDS Hospital. He has moved his way up in X-ray and is really appreciated and respected there. Currently he is the Clinical Instructor there, so all the new students in x-ray go to him to be taught. He is really loving that position and his students really like him. He fills in for the supervisor when she is not there. Honestly, he is probably a shoe in to become supervisor, if his were to ever leave. Both his supervisor and manager have told him they'd be happy to mentor him if he would like to start the path to moving up the ladder. I am always amazed with him and am so proud of him. Ryan was called to be the 1st counselor in the Elders Quorum a few months ago. We have a very small Elders Quorum, but he is enjoying the position. <br />
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Me - I think the last time I did an update I was still doing daycare and was just getting a new calling. I am currently working as an office manager for a small company in West Bountiful. Right now, I am the only office person, but will be hiring someone soon to come help me as we will be hitting our busy time soon. I enjoy the job, the flexibility and the fact that it's only a 5 minute drive from my house. I will be hitting my year here in about a month. Crazy! My 'new' calling was being put in as the 1st counselor in the primary presidency. In May I will have been in this calling for 2 years. I think this has been my favorite calling so far. I love being able to know all of the kids in primary and teach them. I love what this calling has done for my personal testimony. I have been able to learn so much from these kids. And I'm always amazed at how knowledgeable they are. I also love the women that I serve with. They are such great examples to me. It will be very hard to leave this calling. I am still serving on the PTA board. And for some crazy reason, I've signed up to be on the board next year. I really enjoy it, but with working, I feel like I'm not able to give the time I want to give. Speaking of working... because I wasn't working enough, I decided to start teaching piano. It's been hard on my schedule, but I have really enjoyed all the students I have. I have some very talented kids and I'm excited to see where this goes!<br />
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On top of our crazy lives, we've started working on our basement. We have two very large rooms to finish down there and eventually finish off a storage area. We are hoping to get it done by June. Maybe sooner, but we'll see. I can't wait to have the extra space!<br />
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I'm in the middle of another very LONG post that I will probably publish on Thursday, so this will have to due for now. :)Ryan and Mandihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03122643187499057374noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1860203371407228794.post-10697420650903585982015-02-08T12:33:00.002-07:002015-02-08T12:33:15.964-07:00Blogging againI have not been on my blog for a very long time. Part of that is that I hardly take pictures anymore and the other part is that our computer is in our unfinished basement that we almost never use. Well, we just got a new computer and have moved it into our front room, so I'm going to try my hand at this again. Hopefully there are a few people still out there that will want to follow me. :)Ryan and Mandihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03122643187499057374noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1860203371407228794.post-37406541115653769632013-05-17T18:43:00.000-06:002013-05-17T18:43:08.397-06:00Friday - Day 3You ask anyone in my family, they will tell you that this was the favorite day of the whole vacation! And it's already been a whole week since we were there. :( We decided to travel down to Williamsburg, VA to relive another moment from our honeymoon. We went to Busch Gardens, Williamsburg. Ryan and I loved this park when we were there before and we loved it that much x10. First off, the drive down there is gorgeous! Every time we've been in Virginia, we talk about the beauty of it. You cannot see beyond the roads because of the trees. So you constantly feel like you're in a forest. So we took the 2 1/2 hour drive down there. As we hit VA, Darek asked, "So are we going to go pick up our new baby brother now?" I guess because he knows he was born in VA, that it's where we go to get a baby. It was the sweetest comment and took a lot for me not to cry. <br />
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We arrived at the park about an hour after it opened. I won't go into detail about the rides we went on, because I will sound like a complete roller coaster nerd if I do. I'll just say that the rides were incredible! Some of my favorites from before were still my favorites now. And although I can't remember a lot of specifics from almost 13 years ago, the park was just as beautiful as I remembered. <br />
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We went on as many family rides as we could, since Darek was 46 inches and most of the rides required him to be 48 inches. We enjoyed Escape from Pompei a lot, since that was one that was fun for all and got us soaking wet! Ryan and I took turns going on the big rides with Alex while the other stayed off and went on the littler rides with Darek. Lucky Alex got to go on all the big ones at least twice! <br />
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There was a very overwhelming moment for me as I went on the flying swings with Darek while Ryan and Alex were off on Apollo's Chariot. I sat there, flying through the air, with my beautiful little boy thinking back to my honeymoon. I was this very young almost 19 year old, madly in love (almost stupidly in love), thinking of the perfect life that laid ahead of me. We'd go to school until our first child was born, then because of all the money we were making, I would stay at home without an issue, keep having children, build our dream home, have my 5-6 children by the time I was 30, be the incredible PTA/soccer/church/everything Mom that I had always wanted to be and we would all live happily ever after. So very naive. But as I looked down at my beautiful little Darek, I realized how grateful I was that all those "dreams" didn't come true. Because he would not be there with me. Nor would Ian be waiting for me in Heaven. Are there some things from that 19 year old's dreams that I would have loved to have? ABSOLUTELY!!! But I would not trade even one of them for my boys. I'm sure people were watching with much curiosity as tears were flowing down my cheeks. But it sure was an interesting and emotional flash back for me to return to that newlywed mind and remember all the things that I had wanted and was positive I would have.<br />
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As we left the park that day, all the boys could talk about was coming back again one day. I made a comment that maybe in another 12 years we could come again. Then I wanted to throw up as I realized that in 12 years, Alex would be 22 and could be married with his own kids and Darek would be almost 17 and would be a senior in high school. Yep, I'm okay not thinking about that right now. I'll enjoy my 10 and 4 year old for now. But we all have said how much we want to live in VA. We have some pretty deep ties to that state and feel a huge since of belonging there. But for now we are here and have no plans otherwise. But I would not be opposed to it if it happened down the line. <br />
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Anyway, here are a few of the pictures we got that day....<br />
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<img alt="" class="spotlight" src="https://sphotos-a.xx.fbcdn.net/hphotos-prn2/165402_10201264910967378_408056209_n.jpg" style="height: 501px; width: 668px;" /><img alt="" class="spotlight" src="https://fbcdn-sphotos-d-a.akamaihd.net/hphotos-ak-snc6/248998_10201264911567393_34027966_n.jpg" style="height: 520px; width: 390px;" /><img alt="" class="spotlight" src="https://fbcdn-sphotos-b-a.akamaihd.net/hphotos-ak-ash4/222007_10201264912407414_1258214592_n.jpg" style="height: 520px; width: 390px;" /><img alt="" class="spotlight" src="https://fbcdn-sphotos-a-a.akamaihd.net/hphotos-ak-ash4/375042_10201264912847425_1758725658_n.jpg" style="height: 520px; width: 390px;" /><img alt="" class="spotlight" src="https://sphotos-a.xx.fbcdn.net/hphotos-snc6/184579_10201264913487441_1681559883_n.jpg" style="height: 501px; width: 668px;" />Ryan and Mandihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03122643187499057374noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1860203371407228794.post-75192422830321805362013-05-16T11:56:00.000-06:002013-05-16T11:56:37.126-06:00Didn't We Just Leave??I could swear I was just saying goodbye and now we're already home. I'm really wishing we had had an extra day or two there. But we sure did have a great time while we were there! I tried to post while I was there, but my ipad wouldn't let me post any pictures along with the post. Really annoying! So I'll probably do a post for each day we were there. <br />
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Days 1 and 2<br />
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I still can't decide if it was stupid or wise to take a red eye flight. There were absolutely some positives to it, but there were some major negatives as well. My Dad came to pick us up at 9:00 on Wednesday night. We had all been a bit antsy, so we were very ready to leave when he got there! We had found out shortly before we left that our flight was going to be delayed a little bit. It was supposed to take off at 11:26 and ended up taking off closer to 12:30. So we were all exhausted by the time it took off. I sat with Darek and Ryan and Alex sat right behind us. The boys enjoyed take off but couldn't see much since it was so late. Alex pretty much went right to sleep. Darek took a little bit longer, but finally went to sleep. Ryan and I only ended up sleeping for 30 mins to an hour. UGH. We were pretty wasted when we got to the airport. <br />
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After getting our luggage, getting the boys dressed, walking through the airport and finally getting our rental van, we were on our way. We had decided that first day to just take it easy. All we HAD to do was get down to our hotel in Laurel, MD. So we decided to drive through Manhattan and look at some of the skyscrapers. The boys thought it was pretty cool. We then decided to take the Lincoln tunnel over into New Jersey to see if we could stop at Carlos Bakery, since I'm a fan of the show Cake Boss. Well there ended up being a stalled car in the Lincoln tunnel, so we got stuck for about 30 mins. It could have been worse. I got to take a little snoozer while in the tunnel, so it worked out ok. :) We got over to Hoboken and found Carlos Bakery, but I was so exhausted and honestly looked like hell. So we decided that driving by was going to suffice this time. After that we made the 4 hour drive down to our hotel. It was a beautiful drive and we really enjoyed ourselves on the car ride.<br />
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Before getting to our hotel, we decided to head to Target to grab some snacks and drinks for the hotel room. It was really a flashback for me when we got there. Ryan and I had stayed in the same city during our honeymoon. Not the same hotel, but very close to it. And we spent a little bit of time at that Target on our honeymoon. So it was fun to relive some of those memories. We got all checked into our hotel, unpacked and just hung out together the rest of the evening. Needless to say, we all had no problem sleeping that night!<br />
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<img alt="" class="spotlight" src="https://fbcdn-sphotos-f-a.akamaihd.net/hphotos-ak-ash4/262443_10201216064746253_1351194286_n.jpg" style="height: 520px; width: 520px;" /><img alt="" class="spotlight" src="https://fbcdn-sphotos-h-a.akamaihd.net/hphotos-ak-ash4/178906_10201216553798479_1762337362_n.jpg" style="height: 520px; width: 520px;" /><img alt="" class="spotlight" src="https://sphotos-a.xx.fbcdn.net/hphotos-prn1/65621_10201217277496571_4813386_n.jpg" style="height: 520px; width: 520px;" />Ryan and Mandihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03122643187499057374noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1860203371407228794.post-66199687800430668122013-05-08T10:39:00.000-06:002013-05-08T10:39:05.091-06:00Almost A Year<div style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;">
I never thought I would go a whole year without blogging anything. I was bummed that people didn't seem to be looking at my posts, didn't feel like life was interesting enough to write about and honestly just didn't find the time to sit down and post. But as I look back through my old posts, I'm really sad that I've missed a whole year of blogging. I whole year of pictures not posted. Birthday parties not recorded. This isn't for anyone else except me and my family. I'm happy if anyone else wants to read it, but this is kinda how I journal, so it's important for me to record some of this stuff. </div>
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So for anyone not following me on facebook, we moved again. We now live in Woods Cross, Utah. We are still renting, but we LOVE where we are. We love our house, our neighbors, our ward, schools... everything. </div>
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Just a quick update on everyone:</div>
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Ryan got a full-time job in x-ray. He was unable to find an MRI position, so he decided to take the x-ray job. It was a very good choice. We just got benefits back. We are a little nervous to go in for check-ups after 3 years of not having one. But hopefully all will be well. He is really liking his job. He remained up at LDS Hospital, so he didn't have to get used to working in a new environment. Ryan has been teaching Alex's primary class in church up until a few weeks ago when he was moved to my class and we've been team teaching the 6 and 7 year olds. </div>
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Mandi (me) is doing daycare again. Since moving back to the area, I was able to start watching some of the kids I had before and some new ones. At this moment I watch two little girls (ages 3 and 1) full-time, two little boys (ages 3 and 7 months) full-time but on a short term basis, and two other little boys (ages 2 and 7 months) 3 days a week. I also have another cutie that I watch after school. I've had her for so long that I feel like she's my niece. It can get insane having 7 kids, ages 4 and under at one time, especially with 2 babies! But it's also been really fun. It's given me an idea of what having twins would have been like. Crazy, but really fun. Like I said above, I've been teaching the 6 and 7 year olds in church but just recently got a new calling. It hasn't quite taken effect yet, so I'll have to post about that later. I'm still involved with PTA and will be taking over the book fair next year and will also have another position. So I'll be even busier next year. Ahhhh!</div>
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Alex was able to go back to Adelaide to finish out elementary school. I can't believe I'm at a point where I'm saying "finishing out" elementary. Only 2 years left until he goes to Junior High. Ugh. I'm getting old. He loves his school so much and made the student council this year. He really loves his teacher (as do I). He has made some changes this year with some of his friendships and is really starting to figure out the kind of person he wants to be and who he wants to be around. It's been really hard starting to let go a little as a mother to let him be his own person and start to make his own choices. He is such a good boy and I'm so proud of him. Alex is still very much into soccer. He is playing rec, after having a bad experience in comp. He is much happier now and loves his team and coach. </div>
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Darek is still my little firecracker. He will be 5 in the summer, which means he'll be starting Kindergarten. It makes me really sad. I just have to be prepared that he might be my baby, my last kiddo and this will be it. I will admit that I'm a little excited for a little more peace and quiet. But he is also a little mama's boy. He loves being with me and I love that. I don't enjoy that enough and I'm going to really start missing it when it's gone. Darek is a smart little boy. He has learned a lot in the last couple months and will be ready for school when it starts. And as always, he is my hilarious child. Always knows what to say/do to make someone laugh. He is such a little actor. Darek is a very athletic kid. I think he could probably pick up any sport and do well with it. He is doing soccer right now and made 5 goals in his last game. :) He wants to try basketball and t-ball. He didn't quite make the deadline for t-ball this year, which makes me sad. But he will have plenty of years ahead of him. He honestly would be great at football too. We'll see what happens.</div>
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Well, as I'm writing this, I should actually finish up some packing. We are flying out tonight to NYC! We won't really be doing too much in NY, but will be traveling down to DC and Virginia. We decided to step away from Disneyland for a year and see what else is out there in this big world! I'll try to post from vacation. But if not, I'll have plenty of pictures and posts when we return. </div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;">Hope I still have a few followers out there!</span>Ryan and Mandihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03122643187499057374noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1860203371407228794.post-45203490713740257332012-06-14T12:49:00.002-06:002012-06-14T12:49:58.849-06:00Posting<span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;">I have 4 new posts that I finally got around to doing. So keep scrolling down to read them all!</span>Ryan and Mandihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03122643187499057374noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1860203371407228794.post-39705379464574760182012-06-14T12:47:00.000-06:002012-06-14T12:47:00.689-06:00Disneyland 2012<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;">I can't believe I haven't posted anything about our vacation until now... a month later! We had an amazing time on our family vacation this year. One of the big differences this year was that it was just our family together. No one else came with us, which hasn't happened for a while. I think we chose to spend a day or two more than we should have, because we were totally exhausted by the end of it all. But we had some awesome experiences. Our vacation consisted of 6 days in Disneyland/California Adventure, a day at Redondo beach (we were huge OC fans and Redondo is where they shot a lot of scenes from the show) and a day at Magic Mountain. It was a really good time to go. Crowds were at a minimum, especially at Magic Mountain. And the weather was perfect! The boys had both hit height requirements, so it was like a new park for Darek at Disneyland/CA and Alex got to go on any rides he wanted to at Magic Mountain. And I was really impressed with both of them. They went on everything! And with no crying!!! Darek's new favorite ride is Splash Mountain. And Alex's favorite ride at Magic Mountain is Tatsu. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;">One of our favorite experiences this
year was Jedi Training. Alex did this a few years ago and enjoyed it
but wasn't pumped about doing it again. I told him to try, but also to
help Darek try to get selected. So that's what he did! He held Darek
up, helped him jump up and down and reminded him to wave his arms like a
crazy kid. And Darek was selected! Alex still tried but wasn't
selected. :( But he was okay with it. Darek got up there and did
great. He was pretty nervous, but didn't really show it. We got some
great pictures and video of the experience.</span><span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"> </span><br />
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<object width="320" height="266" class="BLOGGER-picasa-video" classid="clsid:D27CDB6E-AE6D-11cf-96B8-444553540000" codebase="http://download.macromedia.com/pub/shockwave/cabs/flash/swflash.cab#version=6,0,40,0" data-thumbnail-src="https://lh5.googleusercontent.com/-MBtUd_8Qp0c/T9ofN25LOKI/AAAAAAAADFk/ZZdZUdAbJTU/s1600/Videos%2BJan%2Bto%2BJune%2B2012%2B017.MPG"><param name="movie" value="http://video.google.com/googleplayer.swf?videoUrl=http://redirector.googlevideo.com/videoplayback?id%3D9d9e1d79d79f0432%26itag%3D5%26source%3Dpicasa%26cmo%3Dsensitive_content%253Dyes%26ip%3D0.0.0.0%26ipbits%3D0%26expire%3D1342289223%26sparams%3Did,itag,source,ip,ipbits,expire%26signature%3DE46BF8F2D75C8829FF731E463CF67F5BCDD1063.84BB24FDC8908B905E0592C941FF13E42B38BFC8%26key%3Dlh1" />
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<embed width="320" height="266" src="http://video.google.com/googleplayer.swf?videoUrl=http://redirector.googlevideo.com/videoplayback?id%3D9d9e1d79d79f0432%26itag%3D5%26source%3Dpicasa%26cmo%3Dsensitive_content%253Dyes%26ip%3D0.0.0.0%26ipbits%3D0%26expire%3D1342289223%26sparams%3Did,itag,source,ip,ipbits,expire%26signature%3DE46BF8F2D75C8829FF731E463CF67F5BCDD1063.84BB24FDC8908B905E0592C941FF13E42B38BFC8%26key%3Dlh1" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowfullscreen="true"></embed></object> </div>
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I don't have editing software at the moment, but my favorite part of this video is at about the 50 second mark. They had finished fighting Vader and Darth Maul and were telling them to leave. Darek saw Darth Maul really close to him and totally started going after him. It was hilarious! You can see Darth Maul's back as Darek gets closer to him. </div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;">We also had our usual breakfast at Minnie and Friends. Alex is getting a little too old for pictures with characters, so we only got one with Alex in it. But Darek was all about it and we had to go running after Tigger to make sure we got a picture with him.</span><br />
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<a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-l2JS_mHrbSs/T9orV3hT5PI/AAAAAAAADJ4/KE1yX3PBlbk/s1600/Darek+and+Hook.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="400" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-l2JS_mHrbSs/T9orV3hT5PI/AAAAAAAADJ4/KE1yX3PBlbk/s400/Darek+and+Hook.jpg" width="298" /></a><a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-3aojQQrTt78/T9orUAw36cI/AAAAAAAADJg/88pc1cwNhfk/s1600/Darek+and+Dale.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="400" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-3aojQQrTt78/T9orUAw36cI/AAAAAAAADJg/88pc1cwNhfk/s400/Darek+and+Dale.jpg" width="298" /></a><a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-KMzJ702aaLQ/T9orTop5p4I/AAAAAAAADJY/JSa4kldLBPA/s1600/Darek+and+Chip.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="400" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-KMzJ702aaLQ/T9orTop5p4I/AAAAAAAADJY/JSa4kldLBPA/s400/Darek+and+Chip.jpg" width="298" /></a><a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-Jm-Vn-S7-w0/T9orUuPEakI/AAAAAAAADJo/xOEkskdag1Q/s1600/Darek+and+Eeyore.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="400" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-Jm-Vn-S7-w0/T9orUuPEakI/AAAAAAAADJo/xOEkskdag1Q/s400/Darek+and+Eeyore.jpg" width="298" /></a><a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-plPYVjRiqmM/T9orVARq4jI/AAAAAAAADJw/fIV-MYe-U-I/s1600/Darek+and+Goofy.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="400" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-plPYVjRiqmM/T9orVARq4jI/AAAAAAAADJw/fIV-MYe-U-I/s400/Darek+and+Goofy.jpg" width="298" /></a><a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-6dIARq8GCtg/T9orWvi17KI/AAAAAAAADKI/fOFf9Dpl9YA/s1600/Darek+and+Pooh.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="400" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-6dIARq8GCtg/T9orWvi17KI/AAAAAAAADKI/fOFf9Dpl9YA/s400/Darek+and+Pooh.jpg" width="298" /></a></div>
<a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-5tUkzeTP_QM/T9orYIE3I-I/AAAAAAAADKY/OjANkqwKIlA/s1600/Darek+and+Tigger.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"></a><a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-nhTLwYsswo0/T9orWaHj1BI/AAAAAAAADKA/AhnEppL84do/s1600/Darek+and+Minnie.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="400" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-nhTLwYsswo0/T9orWaHj1BI/AAAAAAAADKA/AhnEppL84do/s400/Darek+and+Minnie.jpg" width="298" /></a><img border="0" height="400" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-5tUkzeTP_QM/T9orYIE3I-I/AAAAAAAADKY/OjANkqwKIlA/s400/Darek+and+Tigger.jpg" width="298" /><a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-QGKt7vk0x0g/T9oqMkrI6FI/AAAAAAAADFw/4iaVKlo71hs/s1600/Alex+and+Max.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="400" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-QGKt7vk0x0g/T9oqMkrI6FI/AAAAAAAADFw/4iaVKlo71hs/s400/Alex+and+Max.jpg" width="298" /></a><a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-Djivf88Z2ME/T9orXoF7wvI/AAAAAAAADKQ/HTA7_c0mkc4/s1600/Darek+and+Rafiki.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="400" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-Djivf88Z2ME/T9orXoF7wvI/AAAAAAAADKQ/HTA7_c0mkc4/s400/Darek+and+Rafiki.jpg" width="298" /></a><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;">We really had a wonderful time, but I think we are done with Southern California for a while. There are so many places that I want to go and show my boys. So we're thinking our next vacation will be in the opposite direction! And no, not to Disney World! </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"> </span>Ryan and Mandihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03122643187499057374noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1860203371407228794.post-48820586702872646122012-06-14T10:27:00.001-06:002012-06-14T10:27:42.749-06:00Alex's Birthday Pictures.... FINALLY!<div class="" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;">So at Alex's birthday party this year,
we had a mishap with our camera. Not sure what happened, but it would
not work. Worked just fine later on, but not for the party. So I
finally got around to asking my Dad for the pictures he took at the
party! Thank heavens for my Dad!! Makes me sad to think I may not have
gotten any pictures of the party. So here are a few pictures of Alex's
9th birthday, which was actually back in March! Better late than
never!</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"></span>Ryan and Mandihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03122643187499057374noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1860203371407228794.post-92158053396985099492012-06-13T22:01:00.000-06:002012-06-13T22:01:00.036-06:00Soccer Pictures<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;">I am finally getting around to
importing all my pictures from the last couple months. It's quite the
process, but because of it, I'm finally getting around to posting a few
more things here. The boys were able to play soccer again this year in a
different league than they were used to. But they had a great time and
made some wonderful friends. They also happened to have the same
coach, which was really nice. My Dad was kind enough to come to one of
their games and take pictures. It happened to be the day that I was
filling in as coach, so there are a lot of pictures of me... </span></div>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-xrXmPDx_EG8/T9leDzJFwPI/AAAAAAAAC-c/A7sC3RH6C6E/s1600/IMG_0703.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="266" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-xrXmPDx_EG8/T9leDzJFwPI/AAAAAAAAC-c/A7sC3RH6C6E/s400/IMG_0703.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Although his team was not very good, Alex ended up being one of the only ones to score (he scored several times) on his team! So proud of my soccer boy!</td></tr>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">I'm trying to act like I know what I'm talking about...</td></tr>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-9XVE5mDDDRA/T9lembyfr8I/AAAAAAAAC_M/jNqLncaKvmE/s1600/IMG_0753.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="266" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-9XVE5mDDDRA/T9lembyfr8I/AAAAAAAAC_M/jNqLncaKvmE/s400/IMG_0753.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Facial expressions are priceless!</td></tr>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Had to comment on this one. This is Dareks new best buddy, Brayden. He doesn't live anywhere close to us, which is a total bummer. But these two could not be put in the game at the same time because they would get totally side tracked with each other. It was annoying, but very cute!</td></tr>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">How tiny do these little guys look? Funny part was, Darek was one of the youngest (if not the youngest), but ended up being the tallest out of the group. No one believes me when I tell them he's only 3.</td></tr>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"></span>Ryan and Mandihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03122643187499057374noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1860203371407228794.post-62799161054563221292012-06-13T21:27:00.002-06:002012-06-13T21:27:36.196-06:00Family Time<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;">In the last couple weeks, we've been so
lucky to have all my family in town. In fact, in the first time in I
think 7 years, all the members on my side of the family were all
together at once. Only for a matter of hours, mind you, but long enough
that we were able to get family pictures taken. </span><span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;">My grandparents were even able to come down from Idaho for a couple days. </span><span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;">We
had a wonderful time and I loved getting to know my brothers kids a lot
better. I am totally in love with them! We also had the chance to
sing in my parents ward together (something we used to do quite often)
and I don't think any of us minded, for once. :) We were able to go to
the Natural History Museum, lots of time playing outside, celebrate a
birthday, and so much more! My brothers kids got to experience riding
in our battery powered Hummer... something they were ecstatic about! I
absolutely loved teaching my little niece, Emma, to play a few songs on
the piano... even when she continued playing them over and over and over
and over. And I loved hearing so many cute little voices say "Aunt
Mandi". My kiddos loved having all the cousins around. Every day we
had to leave, there would always be tears from at least one of my kids.
They do not like saying goodbye, or feel like they were missing out on
anything. I wish I had taken more pictures. I always wish I would have
taken more pictures. But I do love the ones that I got. And the
family pictures turned out pretty well, especially for having to deal
with 23 1/2 people! :) This time together makes me wish we were all a
little closer to each other, but it does make us really appreciate the
time we do get together. </span><br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-EsNmC-XRpgc/T9lVB5xUCEI/AAAAAAAAC7I/QHyy8kwMYl4/s1600/Whole+Family.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="512" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-EsNmC-XRpgc/T9lVB5xUCEI/AAAAAAAAC7I/QHyy8kwMYl4/s640/Whole+Family.jpg" width="640" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Back row (from left): Kevin, Christopher, Aaron, Trevor (on lap), Jen, Savannah (on lap), Emma, Mom, Dad, Hayley, Anna (on lap), Mike, Tyson, Brayden. Front row (from left): Chad, Gryn (on lap), Bethany, Mallory, Nathan, ME, Darek, Ryan, Alex</td><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"> </td><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><br /></td></tr>
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Yes, we are a CRAZY family! But we are a fun, loving, wonderful family! </div>Ryan and Mandihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03122643187499057374noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1860203371407228794.post-27748794333266450132012-04-27T11:04:00.002-06:002012-04-27T11:04:52.270-06:00Getting Ready<span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;">Even though I still have a ridiculous amount of things to catch up on,<span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"> I wanted to just write and say how excited I am about our upcoming vacation. It has been a really ROUGH month or two for me in a lot of ways and I have never been so in need to leave and get away for a little while. We are now 7 days to our vacation. I've been working to get the house nice and clean (and hope it stays that way for the next week) and amazingly we already have most of our clothes packed. Can't tell that we are excited or anything??? :) The boys can't wait to go! And even though I'm not looking forward to the drive, I am looking forward to some very wonderful family time. My next post could very well come from Disneyland! </span></span>Ryan and Mandihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03122643187499057374noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1860203371407228794.post-60721482881781361712012-04-02T13:30:00.002-06:002012-04-02T14:18:27.602-06:00How Is It Possible That I Have A 9 Year Old???On March 25th, Alex turned 9 years old! It truly doesn't seem possible to have a kid this old. It's also pretty amazing how much I have learned in the last 9 years. I love my kiddo so much and can't imagine life without him.<br /><br />So through all the school issues, we were trying to plan a birthday party. It was not easy. Alex couldn't really decide on a theme this year, so we had to settle for two! We decided on a Nerf/BeyBlade party. Alex invited 8 kids, so there would be a total of 10 (with Darek and him). He invited his best friends from his old school and old neighborhood and it was a "boys only" party. Just so we remember who we invited, here was his list:<br /><br />Jaxon<br />Christian<br />Landon<br />Michael (only one who couldn't come)<br />Hayden<br />Maddox<br />Colby<br />Ben S.<br /><br />We were able to reserve a church building in our old area so the kids didn't have to come too far. We got there early and got it all set up. Once the kids got there, we started with BeyBlade tournaments. These were actually a lot of fun and I think the boys would have been content doing them the whole time. Jaxon ended up winning both BeyBlade tournaments! After that, we went over and had Alex open presents. He got a lot of BeyBlade items and money. Best part was that my mom and sister had hid money in socks and underwear. So they made him not only take the items out, but then search through to find the money (right in the crotch). I think he ended up getting about $50.00 after he opened everything. SPOILED!!! After all presents were open, we had cake and ice cream. By then we were really starting to run low on time. We broke the pinata as quickly as we could. I had set up a Nerf boot camp, but there was no way we'd have time to do that. So we got the boys split up into teams for a Nerf war. They ended up getting two or three rounds in before parents started coming to pick kids up. <br /><br />It was a great day. We cleaned up and loaded his major haul of presents in the car. I think he absolutely loved his party, but really loved being with all of his old friends. That was most important to him. <br /><br />My current list of things that stand out about Alex:<br /><br />Funny<br />Smart<br />Tender<br />A Leader<br />A bit bossy<br />Loving<br />Sweet<br />Turning into a tween (doing the smart a** comments and being a little dork sometimes) :)<br />Will still give me hugs and even kisses<br />Athletic - he still loves soccer and really wants to be fit<br />Amazing and insightful to talk with<br />Simply put.... A really good kid<br /><br />Our camera was not working at the party. My dad was taking some pictures, so I'll have to get those from him at some point. I did get some video, but I'm too lazy to put that on right now. :)<br /><br />Love you Alex!! Happy Birthday my little man!Ryan and Mandihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03122643187499057374noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1860203371407228794.post-76871431013703727432012-04-02T12:38:00.002-06:002012-04-02T13:28:42.284-06:00School, SchmoolThat is a terrible title, but it kind of fits right now. So I last posted about troubles we were having in Alex's school. Well they actually got a bit worse after that and we had some pretty big decisions to make. <br /><br />It was really hard watching Alex go from loving school and loving seeing his friends every day to a kid that despised going, didn't have any good friends and wasn't learning anything. And I almost hated asking him on the way home how school was, because he'd tell me a story about a kid that did a terrible thing to him or something he saw kids doing to other kids. It just broke my heart. But one day home I asked him how school was and he turned to me and said, "Mom, something really bad happened at school today." Not knowing what to expect he continued, "The boys were all playing rough at recess. We were just taking each other down to the ground. So I'd take a kid down then I would let another boy come up and take me down. Well, I took this kid down and he just kinda laid there. I was worried that I hurt him, so I asked him if he was okay. He didn't say anything, just stared up at me. Then he got this look on his face, jumped up and started chasing me. I ran as fast as I could and got away from him. I didn't think it was a big deal. But then a girl from my class came up to me and asked me if I knew that the kid was chasing me with a knife." He stopped his story there which left me with about a million questions. Did his teacher know? Did the kid get in trouble? Why wasn't I notified? He said the teacher did know and he thought the kid was in trouble because he went home early. But he didn't know why no one told me. Probably because he didn't get hurt was what he was thinking. People who know my personality know how conflicted I was at that point. I don't like confrontation and always worry about what other people are thinking of me. I had already sent an email to the school about another situation that had occurred. I was worried about becoming "that mom" if I drove back right then not knowing if the situation had already been taken care of. Of course looking back now, I would have done just that. So we went home and I took a good couple hours writing an email to the principal and his teacher. (Worded perfectly so I didn't come off too harsh. I really get annoyed with myself sometimes looking back on these types of situations. Annoyed that I don't feel comfortable getting in peoples faces sometimes, especially when it's totally warranted.) I sent the email and waited for a reply. The next day I got a call from Alex's teacher kind of explaining the situation. She said that there were a couple of witnesses on the playground. And each of the stories were a little different, so they didn't really know what to believe. And because Alex was running away, he didn't really see anything. They did know positively that the kid did have a pocket knife and it was at very least in his pocket. The conflict in stories was whether he actually had the knife out of his pocket and if the blade was out. The teacher would not tell me what the punishment was for this child. She asked me if I felt comfortable with everything. I told her I wasn't okay with what happened and since I didn't know what the punishment was, I couldn't really say. She also confirmed that this was a semi-common occurrence for kids to bring toy or real weapons to school. So I was not feeling comfortable and okay, especially not knowing what happened with the kid. I picked Alex up from school that day and asked him if the boy was back at school (fully expecting that he wouldn't be back yet) and Alex said that he had been there that whole day. That's the point where I started fuming! So at very LEAST, this kid came to school with a weapon. Let's say that's all that happened. Even having a weapon in his possession to me warrants a couple days suspension. But let's say more did happen... Really? The kid goes home an hour early and that takes care of it??? I was shocked and furious! <br /><br />Ryan and I had several long conversations after that happened about what we should do. Listed out pros and cons. Alex was doing work that was so much lower than what he had been doing at Adelaide, didn't like his teacher and was in a potentially dangerous environment in a school that didn't give severe enough punishment for kids to understand the severity of what they did. Why were we sending him to this school? I started calling around to schools around the area, explaining what had happened and asking if they would accept a variance in the middle of the school year. I called 6 schools, all of which said they were at full capacity and couldn't do anything until the beginning of the next school year. So that was not an option. We started discussing homeschooling. This is something I've thought about, but never really considered doing because I feel like public education is so important. Learning to work with other children and having those friendships is something I want my children to have. But knowing this would be a temporary situation and that we didn't have many other options, we started considering it.<br /><br />I went to the district offices to get information. I was met with a lot of coldness and found that they don't really give you much information other than how to take your child out of school. They let me know I would be on my own if I decided to pursue this, which was fine with me. They did tell me about a place I could look at called Davis Connect and see if they could help me. I went across the street to their building and met some really nice women over there. I found out that they are connected through the school district, but instead of being in a classroom setting, they do online home school. I was quite excited about this program. One of Ryan's hesitations was how we would show that Alex was still being taught. He didn't want us to get in trouble when trying to get Alex back in school and maybe have him held back for any reason. I explained our situation to them and they were very empathetic, but said they were a new program and had only a few people working there. They could only allow 40 kids right now and were totally full. I took their card, very sad that it wasn't going to work out. <br /><br />I started gathering information about doing home school myself, started bugging my sisters (who are teachers) for anything they could give me that would help and getting our upstairs set up. And then out of no where, I got an email from Davis Connect saying that they had gotten approval to take Alex on and asked if I was still interested! YES YES YES!!! They would be taking care of Math, Language Arts, Science and Social Studies. Any other subjects we wanted to do would need to be done by us at home, but wouldn't really be graded by them. <br /><br />Anyway, we ended up starting home school on March 19th. We are now in our 3rd week and are really loving it. The 3rd grade math was really easy for Alex, so we had them put him in 4th grade math. But we wanted to make sure he didn't miss anything in the other subjects that he would need, so he remained in 3rd grade for those. We have a great schedule going and Darek even seems to be enjoying it. I'm glad I'm in a position to be able to do this with Alex. We will probably continue doing this until we move again (and hopefully for the final time) and put him back in public school. It has made for a crazy couple of months, but I'm really happy with the outcome!Ryan and Mandihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03122643187499057374noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1860203371407228794.post-55915114468210675082012-04-02T12:35:00.001-06:002012-04-02T12:37:52.680-06:00Motivation MissingSo I truly love blogging. I love writing down my stories and I really love being able to look back at them. But I have a serious lack of motivation lately and it's driving me crazy. I think part of it is that I have not been taking pictures recently and most of my posts include crazy amounts of pictures. So I am really going to try to keep the camera out, use it and post more here. Life has actually been a little nuts around here and I've really been wanting to put some of it on here. So I'm going to sit here for a bit and work at it. And then hopefully it won't be another month before I get on again!Ryan and Mandihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03122643187499057374noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1860203371407228794.post-77596093442839993442012-02-11T20:49:00.002-07:002012-02-11T21:12:07.971-07:00Still AliveFor anyone out there still following my blog (if there is anyone), I thought I'd give a little update. Not too much going on or different from the usual, but here are the "highlights" of our lives right now.<br /><br />- Ryan is working hard. Still doesn't have a full-time job, but keeps very busy (almost to full-time hours) with the two jobs he has now. We're still looking for that full-time one and hope it comes soon.<br /><br />- Alex doesn't really like his school. He tolerates it fine, but doesn't love it like his old one. He has made some good friends here and met some not-so-nice ones. He got punched in the eye a month or so after we moved here and thankfully that kid has moved now. The kids are rougher and meaner than we're used to and we've absolutely decided this is not where we want to be for good. Alex is, however, excelling in school right now. He was the only one in his class that got straight 3's (or A's) in his class. His reading already way surpasses what he should be doing by the END of the school year. We're trying really hard to get him into soccer up here, so that when spring soccer starts, he'll have that to do. He is the only kid in his scouts group right now, so it's been really hard for him to get involved and do his wolf. I'm hoping we can help him accomplish that before his birthday... but we don't have very long! <br /><br />- Darek is doing okay. I think he is very lonely. He is loving having Alex off-track right now so he has someone to play with (other than his boring mom). And he loved having his Uncle Nate here for the past couple days to play with. But he isn't really friends yet with any church kids, he isn't in preschool yet and the kids around here aren't very nice to him. Because of all of this, we've had a lot of crying and tantrums. It's been really hard having patience with him and a lot of the time, I end up losing my patience. But I've recently really been trying to hear him and be a little more tolerant. I hope we can get him doing something soon, because he needs it a lot (as do I). But our little dude is still the funniest kid around. I love his belly laugh so much. A simple laugh can brighten my whole day. I just want him to be happy.<br /><br />- I am doing fine. I am bored. Now that I'm not volunteering at the school all the time or doing daycare, I'm finding myself extremely bored. It hasn't totally affected my self esteem or anything, but I'm losing my energy because I'm just not doing anything outside of the home. I'm thinking about school and/or a job, but then the issue of daycare is there. So I don't quite know what to do with myself right now. I've been proud of myself keeping a good schedule so that our home is clean the majority of the time. But I've gotta find something else to do. So we'll see what happens there...<br /><br />As you can see, we've had a lot of adjustments to make. Overall, we are really happy. We've had so much family time that we are loving so much. I can't wait for better weather so we can go on more walks and enjoy the outdoors more. We have a vacation next week down to St. George for my nephew's blessing, Alex's birthday to look forward to soon, and in 82 days... another trip to Disneyland!!! It will just be our little family this time and it can't come soon enough. We've figured out that Darek is now tall enough for a lot of the "big rides". So we'll get to try him out on Space Mountain, Splash Mountain, Tower of Terror, Soarin' Over California and many more. He has grown so much in a year. Last year when we went in March he was just barely (and I mean barely) 36" and right now he is 42"! He really seems to be getting taller by the second! So this will be like a whole new experience with him as he goes on these rides for the first time. <br /><br />So that is us for now. I'm always trying to blog more often, but honestly there isn't too much going on and I'm rarely taking pictures. I'll have to try a little harder I think... cause I miss this!Ryan and Mandihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03122643187499057374noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1860203371407228794.post-45728564839052534322011-12-31T11:14:00.003-07:002011-12-31T11:34:54.541-07:00End Of A YearI have much to post about with Christmas and I still need to post pictures of our apartment. But I wanted to post now about the end of 2011 and looking towards 2012.<br /><br />We had a really great 2011. It was full of many changes, but so far most of them have been very good changes. <br /><br />I'm grateful for all of the life-lessons I've experienced and am still experiencing this year. Some have been really hard on me, still are, but hopefully there will be something to learn at the end of it all. <br /><br />I'm grateful for my children who continue to grow and learn everyday. They are such good boys, sweet and tender... and a little feisty. ;) But I'm so grateful that they know how much I love them and I'm so grateful to have their love. <br /><br />I'm so VERY grateful for an amazing husband. He is so amazing with me. Always willing to listen, give advice, let me cry on his shoulder, provide, help raise our kids, helps around the house... etc. He is more than I could have ever hoped for and definitely more than I deserve.<br /><br />Onto a brand new year... 2012! I have a feeling and hope that it's going to be an amazing one. I have many things I'd like to accomplish this year, so I'm writing them down and hopefully will check up on them to see how I'm doing.<br /><br />1. Always on the top of my list, bring another child into our family... in whatever way possible.<br />2. Find Ryan a full-time job<br />3. Move out of state<br />4. Get into a home... and I'm okay if we're renting it. It's a bit too much to buy a home right after moving out of state. We want to make sure we like an area before we buy a home there.<br />5. Get some kind of schooling done. I would really like to do the EMT program at the DATC and I hope we can come up with the money for me to do that.<br />6. Go to Disneyland. :)<br />7. Spend lots of quality time with Ryan and my boys.<br />8. Get a job.<br />9. Laugh a lot.<br />10. Be happy and content with whatever comes our way.<br /><br />That's a pretty hefty list of goals. I'm not expecting to accomplish them all, but I hope to at least be working my way towards them. <br /><br />Happy New Year!Ryan and Mandihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03122643187499057374noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1860203371407228794.post-78436479768102416682011-12-07T09:29:00.002-07:002011-12-07T12:16:19.186-07:00Darek and Ian's Adoption Story - Part 2So I didn't intend it would take 2 weeks to get to part 2, but I'm finally sitting down and have a little while to write the rest of it out. So here it goes!<br /><br />I remember walking through the airport with Alice and feeling very much dazed. I couldn't imagine that this was all real. We were very sleep deprived but the excitement was keeping us awake. The nerves started to set in for me. I had no idea what to expect. Even though we had some details, there were a lot of other questions and worries I suddenly had. How big are the boys now? Are we going to be seeing and talking to the birth mom? Am I going to see them and love them like I loved Alex? I hadn't questioned this before because I didn't think I'd have issues with that with all the foster kids we'd had over the years and knowing how much I loved each one of them. But this was different. These weren't my siblings, these boys were my children. I remember shaking in the car ride over to the hospital. Alice told us we were going to go over to the first hospital - Norfolk General to see Baby A. After we were done there, we'd walk next door to the other hospital - Childrens Hospital of the Kings Daughters (CHKD) to see Baby B. I tried to enjoy the scenery, since this part of VA was a place we'd never been before. But I don't remember really caring about that. <br /><br />We finally got to the hospital and checked in. We went up to the NICU in that hospital. Even though Baby A was doing fine, he was still being kept there because of his size. We had been told that he would still be on a feeding tube and we'd need to learn how to use that before we left. We got to the NICU, washed our hands, checked in and went in to see him. I remember the layout perfectly. We went around a little corner and there he was, laying in his crib. My first reaction was the shock at his size. He was the tiniest baby I had ever seen! And he was double what he was at birth! Then I looked into my sons face. He was so beautiful. He had the softest, curly hair and the sweetest little chubby cheeks. How in the world could a baby so small have chubby anything!?! He had big, beautiful brown eyes that looked right up at me. I was in love. Plain and simple. This little boy was ours. I was his mom. After Ryan and I had looked at him, it only took a few minutes to decide that Baby A was Darek. I had wanted to see them both before deciding for certain, but I was 99% sure he was Darek. I was expecting wires and tubes, but he didn't have any of that. I asked the nurse about the feeding tube and she told me that he got sick of it a few days ago and pulled it out and had been taking bottles just fine. I was in awe that this tiny little guy who still wasn't supposed to be born for another month and a half was this perfectly healthy baby boy. I wanted to scoop him up and take him with us right then, but there were still tests they had to do to be sure he was ready to leave. So we said goodbye temporarily to him so we could go meet his brother.<br /><br />It felt like this crazy maze going out of the 1st hospital over to the 2nd and I swear it was an hour before we got there, although I'm sure it was just minutes. Alice had told us that Baby B was not doing as well, but that he really just needed more time. I was a little more nervous to see him because I wasn't sure how he would look or how severe the problems were. But as we got closer to the NICU at CHKD, all of the worries seemed to go away. We had to check in at the front desk before heading back. The secretaries there were so wonderful as we told them who we were. We were told what room and bed he was in. We got to the room and had to wash our hands really well. I'd like anyone to try and stand there and wash their hands for the full 2 minutes, when your baby is just out of sight right from you. It's nearly impossible. But I managed to get through those few minutes and head back to his incubator. There were probably a total of 10 babies in each section and I remember looking at them as I headed back to my baby. He was the last one in that row, right next to the window. As soon as I saw him, I had the same feelings I had with Darek. I knew so quickly that he was my son. I felt like I already knew him. It was such an amazing feeling. And as soon as I looked at his face, I was totally positive about the names. He was most definitely Ian! I wasn't as bothered by all the wires and tubes as I thought I would be. I just focused on his beautiful little face. He features to me were softer, sweeter almost. He was asleep when we got there. We opened the holes to the incubator and put our hands on him. Again, he was so tiny. He had the softest hair with the most beautiful curls. The nurses gave us some information that I didn't understand even a little bit. But they told us that he was the sweetest baby in there. He was always so good and they loved to come sit with him. I can't remember how long we were there with him, but it didn't feel like very long before we left to go eat and talk about signing papers. <br /><br />We went to the cafeteria and ate. All of a sudden I started to feel a little tired. After we ate, we found a little quiet area in the hospital and sat down with Alice and signed the adoption papers. She mentioned that there was still a certain time period that Beatrice (our birth mom) could change her mind, but assured us that she was sure that wouldn't happen. We got a little bit more information about Beatrice and found it interesting that she already had 2 little girls and was 20 years old. We asked if we'd be meeting her, but Alice said she wasn't really interested in meeting us. We were a little sad but were okay with whatever she thought would be best for her. We went through the enormous stack of paper work and signed our names a million times. <br /><br />After we were done with the paperwork and feeling like everything was official, we headed back over to Norfolk General to get our baby Darek. We got over there and there was still so much to do. They hadn't done his car seat test, which was going to take a while. He still was hooked to monitors and needed to be dressed still (which I couldn't wait to do). So as we waited, I took a little time to step out and call a few people, including the people we were going to be staying with in VA. We had been bugged all day by excited family members, but there hadn't been much time to call or update people. It was getting to a point where everything was just taking so long. Alice was getting quite impatient (not that I could blame her) and was more than ready to leave. She suggested we just leave for the night and come back tomorrow for his release. WHAT?!? Oh no, I don't think so! We were so excited and had come so far, I wasn't going to leave my baby at the hospital, when I knew I could wait just a little longer and have him come home that night. So we waited. After everything finally came through and we talked to the doctors and nurses about appointments he would need in the next few days, we finally got Darek dressed, in his car seat and left the hospital. It was an incredible feeling! Alice pulled her car up and we loaded him in. <br /><br />Now another bunch of nerves set in. We were going to be staying with a family in Chesapeake whom we had never met. We had originally thought we'd be staying across the street at a Ronald McDonald house, but found out they wouldn't let us stay there with an infant. So stupid. So a social worker had gotten word out in the area, through the church about our situation. And this amazing family had stepped up and agreed to take us in for the time we were here. We didn't know much about them, just that they were amazing to let us come stay. When we arrived at the Hunter-Holmes, we were brought in with open arms. And immediately, I felt like I had known this family for years. The family consisted of Steve and Pam and their kids Maya (who was 7 or 8), Avery (who was a month older than Alex - 5) and Ian (complete coincidence who was a few months old). They were all so excited to see Darek and had a hot dinner ready for us to eat, even though it was so late. They showed us where we would be staying and I think I stayed up for a few hours just talking to Pam. On top of having 3 kids, she was also the Relief Society President. I was amazed at the generosity of this family and will always feel in debted to them, in more than one way. <br /><br />The next day we went back over to CHKD to spend more time with Ian. We took little Darek over with us. Because Darek wasn't allowed back in the NICU, Ryan and I had to take turns going back. They told us that Ian was doing really good that day and we could hold him that day. Because Ryan was going to leave the next day, I told him to take this special time with Ian. I stayed out with Darek and got to meet some wonderful people. The chaplain they had there, Chaplain Reggie, was amazing. We told him our story and he was in awe that we would do this. And of course we felt so privileged. He was in love with Darek and offered to sit with him for a little while so I could go back with Ryan and Ian. I'm so glad he did, because we got some wonderful pictures while we were back there together. We spent several hours there that day and had some wonderful time with Ian. <br /><br />The next day Ryan had to leave. He left very early in the morning. Darek and I drove Ryan to the airport and said goodbye. It was so hard saying goodbye and I knew how difficult it would be not having him there. Over the next week, things were crazy! I tried to get to the hospital to see Ian as much as possible, but it was so hard with not being able to take Darek with me. Pam was nice enough to watch him when she could, but I also had several doctor appointments I had to take Darek to in the mean time. It was a very hard week. I did get to take a day and go with the Hunter-Holmes family to the Norfolk zoo. That was so much fun and a very needed break. Finally the day came for me to leave and go home with Darek. I went to the hospital that morning and spent some time with Ian. It was so hard to leave. I said goodbye to him, and kissed him. As soon as I left the room, I broke into tears. It was such a difficult thing to do to leave him there. I went back to the house, finished packing up our stuff and Pam took me to the airport. It was almost as difficult saying goodbye to her too. But I was also so excited to get home to Alex and introduce him to one of his new baby brothers. <br /><br />I flew from Norfolk to Houston and had a 4 hour layover there. It was fun walking through the airport there with this teeny little baby. There were many people that literally thought I was holding a baby doll. It was fun to meet new people and share our story. Darek had some kind of stomach bug on our leg home from Houston and must have pooped 6 or 7 times. I spent most of that flight in the bathroom changing his diaper. And I almost ran out of diapers because I thought 7 diapers would be more than enough for a couple hours flight. We finally landed at the airport in Salt Lake and I took Darek in to the bathroom to change him one more time before taking him out to meet Alex, Papa and Grandma. Ryan had to work that night, so he didn't get to come to the airport to see us. The woman that had sat next to me on the flight had come out and spotted my parents, since she knew what was happening. She let them know how cute Darek which made them even more anxious. I'll never forget the looks on their faces as I came out with Darek. I asked Alex first if he wanted to hold him. He was so nervous and said no. So immediately my mom took him out of my arms. We got our luggage together and started to walk out. Before we got to the elevator, Alex said he was ready to hold him. So we stopped and Alex sat down and held his brother for the first time. It was amazing and precious for me to see. I'll never forget that moment. <br /><br />The next month was filled with having a new baby at home, getting used to having Alex in school and Ryan at school and full time work. I called the NICU constantly, although maybe not enough. We talked about moving Ian to PCMC so he could be closer. We'd have ups and downs with him getting off the vent, then back on. It all continued until the day he passed away. I am not going to relive that day right now because just reliving the rest of this story has been so emotional. There will always be a void in our home where Ian should be. Always a part of me missing. But I love my son so much and can't wait to see him again.<br /><br />I know I've left out so many details, but this is our adoption story. I love telling it and I'm glad to have it written down now so I can come back and read it whenever I want to. <br /><br />I really hope that we will get the opportunity to adopt again. It's a magical experience. One that we will never forget and always feel so grateful to have experienced.Ryan and Mandihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03122643187499057374noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1860203371407228794.post-26785280445481252692011-11-30T16:12:00.003-07:002011-11-30T18:48:48.151-07:00ThankfulBefore November is totally over, I wanted to focus on some of the things that our family is thankful for this year. I've asked each member of our family to come up with 10 things that they are thankful for this year. I'll go first so I don't "cheat" off anyone else's. :) In no particular order, here are the things our family is grateful for:<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">Mandi</span><br />1. My husband and boys - I truly don't know what I'd do without them<br />2. Our new home - I love it more and more each day we're here<br />3. Family time - Since moving, we've been able to spend lots of wonderful time together exploring our new surroundings. I have LOVED every moment of this time together.<br />4. Extended family - I always love getting together with extended family and creating new memories.<br />5. Perspective - It's been so good to move to a place where I can see people who struggle but still feel that they have it all. I don't know if that sounds bad, but where we lived with my parents, it was a wealthier area and it showed sometimes in the attitude of people there. I'm glad to be "struggling" and get that perspective back of what really matters in our lives.<br />6. New friends - Ok, so a lot of my things revolve around moving. :) But it's been so fun already getting to know new neighbors and ward members. Our next door neighbors have kids about the same age as ours and come from very similar backgrounds. I'm excited to get to know them and others better and make some new, lasting friendships.<br />7. Old friends - I love my friends so much. They are my backbone and without them, I would go crazy. I'm so grateful to know that no matter where we end up, I will have my friends with me for life and beyond!<br />8. Possibility - I feel like I have a new life and am toying with many possible things in my future. I'm not sure yet what I'll do exactly, but the possibilities are there and are very real!<br />9. Our cats - I feel silly writing this one down, but I love our kitties so much! They add so much fun to our lives and I love that we got both of them from shelters.<br />10. Knowledge - I'm not the smartest person out there, far from it even, but I'm grateful to know the things that I know. And I'm grateful to the people who teach me new things on a daily basis (especially Ryan).<br /><br />Now that I'm into this, I could go on forever, but I won't hog the whole post. The rest of them probably won't have as much explanation.... I just like to talk a lot. :)<br /><span style="font-weight: bold;"><br /><br />Alex<br /></span>1. Family<br />2. Pets<br />3. New house<br />4. Clothes<br />5. Shoes<br />6. Furniture<br />7. Food<br />8. TV/Movies and Video games<br />9. The Earth<br />10. Sports... especially soccer<br /><br />I have a feeling he was just looking around and saying what he was looking at. That's okay though, cause all of those things are wonderful things to have. <br /><br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">Darek</span><br />1. Santa Claus<br />2. Snowballs<br />3. Christmas Tree<br />4. Kitten<br />5. Disneyland<br />6. Daddy and Mommy<br />7. Our new house<br />8. Alex<br />9. Other family members (he named all of them)<br />10. Lagoon<br /><br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">Ryan</span><br />1. Family<br />2. Our Country<br />3. Technology<br />4. Knowledge<br />5. Compassion<br />6. Agency<br />7. Air Conditioning<br />8. Employment<br />9. Understanding<br />10. Forgiveness<br /><br /><br />There it is... I probably would have stolen a couple from the different lists. We are thankful for so much more than that, but this gives a few things that top our list. Happy Thanksgiving to everyone!Ryan and Mandihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03122643187499057374noreply@blogger.com0