So I've been thinking about doing this post for a while and after so many incidents I've finally decided to do it. I doubt it'll make any difference, but at least I can get my thoughts and feelings out there.
So I'm not sure why people feel they have the right to ask anything they want to about other people's lives. But there are a few questions that I get over and over again regarding Darek and adoption. So I want to post them and maybe suggest better ways to ask it or maybe even think about not asking at all.
The question "Where is he from?" is asked in all sorts of ways. I know people are curious, but I'm not sure why this is something people need to know. It also bothers me that it's assumed he's from another country because he is black. And when I say he was born in VA, there is almost a disappointment. After the earthquakes in Haiti, so many people just automatically assumed that was where Darek was from. It just bothers me that it matters.
The question that bothers me the most is, "So is he yours or was he adopted?" For anyone who has adopted, you know that this comes as a huge slap in the face and is so hard to reply to. My usual reply is, "Yes, he is mine and yes, he is adopted." But that is usually just confusing to most people. But for me to say that he isn't mine and is just adopted is like saying he isn't really ours, so he's not really apart of our family.
I won't go on and on with questions. I just ask that people simply think about what they're asking before they ask it. And also ask yourself if it's something you really need to know. Does it really matter? I love talking about both of my boys. I have two beautiful boys with amazing capabilities. And none of those capabilities has anything to do with where they were born, what color their skin is or if they are "mine" or "adopted".
Anyway, just a few things to keep in mind.
Tuesday, July 27, 2010
Sunday, July 25, 2010
Darek's 2nd Birthday
And the worst Mom award goes to..... ME!
We celebrated Darek's 2nd birthday... well several times. But I have failed to post about any of it. Darek turned 2 on July 3rd. So here I am, almost a month later, finally posting.
None of my family were actually here for Darek's birthday, so we didn't do too much on the 3rd. Ryan and I did give him a few gifts that day. We got him a kitchen because he loves playing pretend and we also got him a little tricycle. He loved the kitchen and wanted to make food for everyone. Since that is the day that we have fireworks up at Eaglewood, we decided it would be a fun way to do a little celebration. We met our friends Tammy and Kaylene up there and had a great time just talking and running around. They also gave Darek his present while we were there. Darek had a wonderful time and LOVED his present!
The next evening we went out to Aunt Roxie's house for fireworks and another little birthday celebration. Darek got some adorable outfits from Grandma and Grandpa. And some fun toy story toys. He also got another fun toy story lego toy from his Aunt, Uncle and cousins. After having fun with fireworks and playing with cousins, we went home.
The next day my parents came home from the East coast and Beth and Chad came up to visit. So, of course we needed another birthday party! :) On Wednesday we all went out to The Mayan for dinner and presents. Alex and Darek thought the divers were amazing and we all had a lot of fun.
I think we took pictures of all of this but I have no idea where they went. If I can't find them, I'm really hoping that some of my family have pictures.
We love our little Darek. He is getting so big and learning so many new things. He is finally on the charts for height... in fact he is now at 50% in his age group! He still is below 3% with his weight. But I'm happy that he is growing and that it's almost impossible to detect now what a premature baby he was. Darek is a bundle of energy. Just listening to him talk sometimes exhausts me. But he speaks very well and is learning so much. He continues to adore his big brother and wants nothing more than to do EVERYTHING that Alex does. He can be a big helper when he chooses to be. He loves other kids and loves playing with them. He looks forward to nursery every week so he can see his buddy Truman. Darek still loves to cuddle and I love when I can hold him like a baby and he strokes my face and plays with my hair. He loves to rough house with anyone who will participate. Sword fighting, jumping on each other, wrestling, he will do it all! He has the cutest belly laugh that I love to hear. I adore my little boy and hate that he is growing up so fast. We are all so grateful to have Darek in our lives and how much fun and energy he brings. Happy Birthday sweet boy!
We celebrated Darek's 2nd birthday... well several times. But I have failed to post about any of it. Darek turned 2 on July 3rd. So here I am, almost a month later, finally posting.
None of my family were actually here for Darek's birthday, so we didn't do too much on the 3rd. Ryan and I did give him a few gifts that day. We got him a kitchen because he loves playing pretend and we also got him a little tricycle. He loved the kitchen and wanted to make food for everyone. Since that is the day that we have fireworks up at Eaglewood, we decided it would be a fun way to do a little celebration. We met our friends Tammy and Kaylene up there and had a great time just talking and running around. They also gave Darek his present while we were there. Darek had a wonderful time and LOVED his present!
The next evening we went out to Aunt Roxie's house for fireworks and another little birthday celebration. Darek got some adorable outfits from Grandma and Grandpa. And some fun toy story toys. He also got another fun toy story lego toy from his Aunt, Uncle and cousins. After having fun with fireworks and playing with cousins, we went home.The next day my parents came home from the East coast and Beth and Chad came up to visit. So, of course we needed another birthday party! :) On Wednesday we all went out to The Mayan for dinner and presents. Alex and Darek thought the divers were amazing and we all had a lot of fun.
I think we took pictures of all of this but I have no idea where they went. If I can't find them, I'm really hoping that some of my family have pictures.
We love our little Darek. He is getting so big and learning so many new things. He is finally on the charts for height... in fact he is now at 50% in his age group! He still is below 3% with his weight. But I'm happy that he is growing and that it's almost impossible to detect now what a premature baby he was. Darek is a bundle of energy. Just listening to him talk sometimes exhausts me. But he speaks very well and is learning so much. He continues to adore his big brother and wants nothing more than to do EVERYTHING that Alex does. He can be a big helper when he chooses to be. He loves other kids and loves playing with them. He looks forward to nursery every week so he can see his buddy Truman. Darek still loves to cuddle and I love when I can hold him like a baby and he strokes my face and plays with my hair. He loves to rough house with anyone who will participate. Sword fighting, jumping on each other, wrestling, he will do it all! He has the cutest belly laugh that I love to hear. I adore my little boy and hate that he is growing up so fast. We are all so grateful to have Darek in our lives and how much fun and energy he brings. Happy Birthday sweet boy!
Sunday, July 18, 2010
Some Alex Moments
Today had a few really fun (and brutally honest) moments with Alex. I wanted to jot them down before I forgot.
This morning as we're watching cartoons on the couch.
Alex: "Mom, I really hate that most cartoon people only have four fingers. It really freaks me out!"
It was so random, yet something I know most people have thought about at some point in their life. It was just a funny, entertaining moment. :)
The next one came this afternoon. I picked Alex up from a birthday party and told him we were going to get Subway for lunch. We get coupons for Subway every time we go to a Salt Lake Real game. So I thought it was a good time to use them. We ended up getting 5 - 6 inch subs and 2 32 oz. drinks. Normally that would come to around $25.00-30.00. After giving them my coupons and finding out I had enough Subway points for another free 6 inch, the total came to $12.00. I was thrilled! I love getting great deals like that. So we got in the car and started driving home. I was babbling on to Alex about the great deal we had just gotten and how much money we had saved. After a few seconds of silence...
Alex: "Mom, can I ask you something?"
Me: "Sure."
Alex: "Okay, but I really don't want you to get mad at me, and I really think you will."
Me: "It's okay buddy, I promise I won't get mad at you."
Alex: Hesitates for a minute.
Me: "Alex, just say it."
Alex: "Okay. Mom, I really don't care about saving money. I'm just not interested in it at all. So can you please not talk about it to me anymore?"
Me: I really want to get angry at him, but wonder why I would. What kid cares about how much money was saved buying lunch? It sure isn't anything I would have cared about as a kid. With no reason to be mad, I chuckle. "No problem bud. I totally understand how boring it must be for you. Mommy just gets really excited about saving money and wants to talk about it. I'll make sure next time not to say anything to you about it."
Alex: "Thanks Mom."
Every time I replay it in my mind, I want to laugh out loud. He was so sweet and polite about it. I'm glad I didn't let the first emotions get the best of me. I would have really regretted that later. Funny, funny kid. I love the way that little mind of his works. :)
This morning as we're watching cartoons on the couch.
Alex: "Mom, I really hate that most cartoon people only have four fingers. It really freaks me out!"
It was so random, yet something I know most people have thought about at some point in their life. It was just a funny, entertaining moment. :)
The next one came this afternoon. I picked Alex up from a birthday party and told him we were going to get Subway for lunch. We get coupons for Subway every time we go to a Salt Lake Real game. So I thought it was a good time to use them. We ended up getting 5 - 6 inch subs and 2 32 oz. drinks. Normally that would come to around $25.00-30.00. After giving them my coupons and finding out I had enough Subway points for another free 6 inch, the total came to $12.00. I was thrilled! I love getting great deals like that. So we got in the car and started driving home. I was babbling on to Alex about the great deal we had just gotten and how much money we had saved. After a few seconds of silence...
Alex: "Mom, can I ask you something?"
Me: "Sure."
Alex: "Okay, but I really don't want you to get mad at me, and I really think you will."
Me: "It's okay buddy, I promise I won't get mad at you."
Alex: Hesitates for a minute.
Me: "Alex, just say it."
Alex: "Okay. Mom, I really don't care about saving money. I'm just not interested in it at all. So can you please not talk about it to me anymore?"
Me: I really want to get angry at him, but wonder why I would. What kid cares about how much money was saved buying lunch? It sure isn't anything I would have cared about as a kid. With no reason to be mad, I chuckle. "No problem bud. I totally understand how boring it must be for you. Mommy just gets really excited about saving money and wants to talk about it. I'll make sure next time not to say anything to you about it."
Alex: "Thanks Mom."
Every time I replay it in my mind, I want to laugh out loud. He was so sweet and polite about it. I'm glad I didn't let the first emotions get the best of me. I would have really regretted that later. Funny, funny kid. I love the way that little mind of his works. :)
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