Random Thoughts

I was going to post a cute video that we took of Alex making Darek giggle... but somehow it didn't make it to the computer from the SD card and now it's erased. Stupid! Oh well. So I just thought I'd be a little random for a few minutes since it's 12:30am and I can't seem to sleep right now. (Couldn't be that a little boy climbed into bed with us and took up my side of the bed) :)

What a great life I have! I've been in a thoughtful mode the past couple days about the past, present and future. All the things that have led me to where I am today. I feel so blessed to be 27 years old and to have some amazing life experiences already behind me.

I am so grateful to have been raised where I was. I love my old home in West Sacramento and there are so many days when I think about all the wonderful friends and memories I had there. I have been able to find some of those friends through facebook and recapture some of those memories. I am grateful that my parents were selfless enough to open their home to some amazing foster children. I wish I knew where all those children were today. I miss my "little brother" John and wish I knew where he was and what he has been doing.

I am also grateful that my parents chose to move here. We had a really hard time fitting in the first few years we were here. I was told so many times to go back to where I came from. My cat was hauled away by neighbor boys and never seen again, our home vandalized, etc. But I think that because of some of that hatred towards us, our family stayed closer and more tight knit. We were able to adopt my brother and sister here. I also met some wonderful friends here that I will always love and cherish. And I met my wonderful, sweet husband here.

My married life has been truly amazing! I have been through some things that I thought I'd never experience. I knew I'd get married young... that was no surprise. I didn't know we'd take this long to get through school. I didn't know (nor ever dreamed) that we'd have a hard time having children. I always thought that because I loved kids, always wanted to be a Mommy and wanted a billion kids... that that's exactly what would happen. I never thought I'd be one of those parents to have to bury their child. Never. But what truly beautiful miracles we've been able to experience through these trials. Though infertility can tear a couple apart, it has brought my relationship with Ryan even closer. And losing a child can tear a family apart, but it has brought ours closer than ever. I cherish each moment I get with my children. I realize how short our lives can be.

I have learned to love my life in all its paths and stages.
I have learned to not let other people bring me down (as hard as they may try).
I have learned that life is not a competition. It's not about who makes the most money, has the biggest home, has the most kids or the best job. It's about love and happiness. It's about family and being together. It's about making the most with what you have been given.
I have learned that children are a blessing from our Heavenly Father and that being trusted with these beautiful children should never be taken lightly.
I have learned that there is always someone out there that is going through something much more difficult than what I'm experiencing.
I have learned that sometimes just sitting down and crying on a loved ones shoulder really can help.
I have learned that there will never be a day that goes by that I don't think about my precious little Ian.

Thank you for reading (or not reading) my random thoughts. Sometimes it just helps to sit down, think through and write out these random tidbits. Now that it's 1:15am, I really should think about going to sleep. Afterall, my baby is graduating kindergarten tomorrow!