Adoption

So I've been thinking about doing this post for a while and after so many incidents I've finally decided to do it. I doubt it'll make any difference, but at least I can get my thoughts and feelings out there.

So I'm not sure why people feel they have the right to ask anything they want to about other people's lives. But there are a few questions that I get over and over again regarding Darek and adoption. So I want to post them and maybe suggest better ways to ask it or maybe even think about not asking at all.

The question "Where is he from?" is asked in all sorts of ways. I know people are curious, but I'm not sure why this is something people need to know. It also bothers me that it's assumed he's from another country because he is black. And when I say he was born in VA, there is almost a disappointment. After the earthquakes in Haiti, so many people just automatically assumed that was where Darek was from. It just bothers me that it matters.

The question that bothers me the most is, "So is he yours or was he adopted?" For anyone who has adopted, you know that this comes as a huge slap in the face and is so hard to reply to. My usual reply is, "Yes, he is mine and yes, he is adopted." But that is usually just confusing to most people. But for me to say that he isn't mine and is just adopted is like saying he isn't really ours, so he's not really apart of our family.

I won't go on and on with questions. I just ask that people simply think about what they're asking before they ask it. And also ask yourself if it's something you really need to know. Does it really matter? I love talking about both of my boys. I have two beautiful boys with amazing capabilities. And none of those capabilities has anything to do with where they were born, what color their skin is or if they are "mine" or "adopted".

Anyway, just a few things to keep in mind.